If you’re in a serious relationship with a woman, watch out for the following personality types who have been defined by a negative quality.
Blinded Belinda is oblivious to the needs others. Her world consists of what she needs and wants. In most areas of her life, Belinda expects instant gratification. She is chronically unable to see things from someone else’s viewpoint.
Does the woman you’re considering marrying notice the needs of others?Does she have to be the center of attention? Is she able to see what you might need or want? Right now you might be full of grace and patience for a girlfriend who seems to put herself first, but if this a woman who will spend the next five or six decades testing that patience, you might want to slow down your relationship.Red flag: Her conversation is sprinkled with lots of “I,” “me,” and “my.”
A dominating Donna treats her husband as if she can’t even see the man who’s standing in front of her. Because she has trouble keeping things in perspective, Donna takes the smallest molehill and makes in into a mountain of woe. The little errors that spouses must learn to overlook—a forgotten errand, not texting when delayed—are instead recorded like a laundry list of failings. Then when her husband does fail, Donna punishes him (after the yelling) with the silent treatment.
If you’re dating someone like Donna, notice the ways she uses her words. What is inside a woman can often be recognized by what comes out of her mouth. That means that the inner character of a woman is evident in the way she speaks. This is a great barometer not only for identifying Dominating Donna but her friends, like Blinded Brenda, as well.
Red flag: She responds with criticism and negativity when you err.
Holy Holly values the appearance of righteousness more than she does actually living a life of love. Holly doesn’t just make a show of praying, she lets you know she sought the Lord’s guidance about which supermarket to frequent, where to go eat for dinner, and which movie to watch afterward. And if she gets a good parking spot at the movie theater, she’ll let you know that it was God who gave it to her.
Christians are called to make every thought captive to Christ. The rub comes with Holly’s need to appear super spiritual. In fact, she never misses an opportunity to let you know that she’s a wee bit more spiritually devoted than you are. Because she’s controlled by the fear of disappointing God, Holly’s appearance of super spirituality often borders on superstition.Does a woman’s relationship with God drive her into the world that he loves—full of broken people in need of love, hope and redemption—or does it remove her from it?
Does a woman’s relationship with God drive her into the world that he loves—full of broken people in need of love, hope and redemption—or does it remove her from it? Is she living and tasting and building the kingdom Jesus ushered in, or does she spend more energy dodging the devil? The woman you want to marry is one with a deep, abiding faith in God. And that deep faith expresses itself in a willingness to trust that God is present with us not only on life’s smooth, sunny highways but also in the stormy hollows.
Red flag: She’s most concerned with the appearance of righteousness.
Trophy Tina is typically a knockout. She’s the kind of woman who turns heads where she goes. But while Tina projects what others perceive to be an air of confidence, it’s only skin deep. Tina is actually very insecure and tries to control those anxious feelings by perfecting her outward appearance. And because she’s always been praised for her physical beauty, she’s never developed the other parts of herself. Sadly, her self-identity is determined by how she believes others view her.
If you’re dating Tina now, you probably see no problem with her beauty Beauty is not the problem. Simply pay attention to the way a woman behaves in relationship with others. Check in with those who know you and love you—your friends, your siblings, your parents. They’ll be able to tell you how they’ve experienced her. Perhaps less clouded by her beauty, these loved ones will be better able to discern whether she wants a marriage of mutual sacrifice or if she simply wants to be adored by you and others.
Red flag: She’s possessive of you and jealous of other women.
Prideful Patty has to have the best of everything: most impressive car, name-brand clothing, bigger home in the priciest neighborhood. And, sadly, she constantly compares what she has to what others have. Patty may or may not be able to afford these extravagant purchases. Embracing the reality of living within her means is less import to her than making sure she’s recognized as possessing them. Whether Patty has a career herself or spends her husband’s money, she is completely out of touch with the difference between “needs” and “”wants.” Patty will be more concerned about impressing and pleasing others — even random others to whom she’s not particularly close — than about loving you.
Patty prizes the opinions of others, which she garners through through what she owns and flaunts, above either your opinion or God’s. If you decide to wed a Prideful Patty, please know that keeping her happy will feel like a root canal that never ends.
Red Flag: She constantly compares herself to others.
Critical Cathy views herself as a victim of others. Her general attitude is, If it weren’t for bad luck, I’d have none at all. Unable to recognize the good in others, she focuses only on the bad. She seems to have no awareness that family members protect one another. Cathy is not a person to trust as a confidante. And where there is no strife, Cathy will create it. She’ll be critical of your friends. She’ll complain about your parents. She’ll drive a wedge between you and your siblings. She’ll criticize the way you do your job. She’ll complain when you’re away, and when you return she’ll find something else to harp on.
Like anyone, expect Cathy to be on her best behavior if you’re dating her. But pay attention to your gut. When she jumps on you for being five minutes late or nags about the way you keep your car, do you notice any warning signals that all is not well? Five or ten or twenty years from now is not the time to open your eyes to the truth and be honest with yourself about this woman. It’s now.
Red flag: She is hypercritical of others.
Lying Linda has chronic difficulty telling the truth. It’s not that she stretches the truth a wee bit. In fact, it’s unclear whether Linda even recognizes what is truth and what is fiction. Linda’s lies serve one person: Linda. Without even seeming to realize what she’s up to, she offers an explanation that will impress or threaten. he misleads to suggest she’s a little more than she actually is. Pieces of a Lying Linda’s stories will be true, but there’s no reliable way to know which parts.
Guys, open your eyes, You will not escape being affected by this web of lies. It seems harmless at first. In time, you’ll realize that you cannot trust Linda about anything Her lies have eroded trust between you and when that happens, your love will dry up. It’s not possible to be intimate with someone as slippery as Linda.
Red flag: She says whatever is most convenient in the moment.
Excerpted from 13 Women You Should Never Marry
by Mary Colbert © 2015. Published by Worthy Publishing, a division of Worthy Media, Inc., Brentwood, TN. www.worthypublishing.com. Used by permission. Tell us what you thought of this excerpt on Twitter: #13Women @WorthyPub