Myth No. 1: Love will get us through. Love is an essential part of a successful marriage, but it is going to take more than an emotion or feeling to keep you two together long enough to celebrate a silver or gold anniversary. You need realistic expectations about yourself, your spouse and your future. You need healthy communication. And, more importantly, you need faith. A vibrant relationship with God and a rich prayer life will do more to infuse your marriage with vibrancy than you can imagine.
Myth No. 2: Sex is going to be the easy part of marriage. While sex can be one of the best parts of being married, it can also be one of the most challenging. Learning to understand, respond, and please your partner takes time. If you were sexually active before you were married, you may find yourself sorting through some unwanted baggage. If you waited to have sex until you were married, you may be surprised at how much practice it takes to have a consistently enjoyable experience.
Myth No. 3: Marriages today don’t last. It’s true that more than half of all marriages today don’t last, but that doesn’t mean that yours has to be one of them. By basing your relationship on one non-negotiable — divorce is not an option — you will become part of a generation that embraces the richness of marriage.
Myth No. 4: Fights are bad for a marriage. While there’s no place for physical or emotional abuse in a relationship, there has to be room for disagreement. When you disagree with your spouse, you have the opportunity to grow, get to know your partner, and compromise. If you learn to fight fair, disagreements can strengthen you as a couple.
Myth No. 5: Marriage will make you happy. It’s easy to think that marriage is the passport to living happily ever after, but recent research shows that married people are often equally as happy as they were when they were single. In other words, if you were happy as a single, you’ll probably be happy as a married person; but if you were unhappy while you were single, there’s a good chance you’ll bring that into the relationship. It’s been observed, “Marriage isn’t supposed to make you happy; it’s supposed to make you married.”
Myth No. 6: Children will bring us together. Some spouses, especially women, believe that if they’re going through a tough spot in their relationship, having a child will bring them together. While the process of pregnancy and having a child is an enormous opportunity for celebration and growth, it also adds newfound stress on a relationship. Financial stress, emotional stress, and exhaustion often set in as a couple’s world is turned upside down with the arrival of the new member. If your relationship is struggling, talk to your spouse and older Christian couples for wisdom and advice. You may want to pursue counseling. Just make sure you two are on the same page before you bring someone else into the family.
Taken from Just Married by Margaret Feinberg;
Copyright © 2005 by Margaret Feinberg;
Published by Harvest House Publishers, Eugene, OR; Used by Permission.