Many men experience problems with sex. But few are comfortable discussing it. The ability to have sex and please a woman is at the heart of a man’s masculinity and his value as a husband. So how do you deal with it when you’re having sexual difficulties?
Make your sex life healthy. Good lifestyle choices can help you improve your sexual performance as well as protecting your overall health. Limiting your alcohol intake and quitting smoking and drugs are positive steps toward solving your sexual difficulties. Regular cardiovascular and weight-training exercise is also good for your body and your sex life.
Talk with your wife. Communication is the key to a great sex life. Learning what pleases your wife and telling her what pleases you will make the experience more enjoyable for both of you. Good communication may also relieve some of your anxieties about performance. You’ll probably find that once you talk about the disappointments in your sexual experiences with your mate, you’ll be able to make your sex life better than you expected.
Don’t take “no” to heart. You should always listen when your spouse turns you down for sex. But don’t make it personal. For most women, sex is just as emotional as it is physical. Her reluctance may be related to the hard day she had or the headache she’s fighting. It’s not necessarily because she didn’t enjoy the last intimate night you shared together. Continue approaching her in a gentle and understanding manner. Your patience will help her to see that you are sensitive to her needs. She’ll respond with fewer turndowns, which is a boost for your sexual confidence.
Keep cuddling. Sex isn’t just about intercourse. You and your wife can both feel fulfilled by sharing other intimate experiences, such as heart-to-heart talks, romantic evenings or kissing and caressing. Don’t give up on sex just because intercourse sometimes causes problems. You may find that spending time just being close will alleviate some of the problems and make your sexual relationship deeper and more fulfilling.
Consult your doctor. Though it may seem embarrassing, discuss your situation with your doctor. Some sexual difficulties are the result of medical conditions, such as diabetes, neurological disorders or chronic kidney or liver diseases. Others are due to physical problems, such as low blood flow in the sex organs or uncontrolled high blood pressure. Many of these physical dysfunctions can be easily treated with medication, improving sexual performance and making sex more pleasurable.
Seek the help of a counselor or pastor. Sexual difficulties are often due to stress, fear or anxiety. Resolving these issues with a professional can help to alleviate some of the pressure you feel in the bedroom. The more at ease you feel, the better your sex life will be.
Copyright © 2002 Lisa Brock. Used by permission.
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