Oh yes, man was created to be lord over his domain. God placed the first man in the Garden of Eden and then commanded him to be and do all I just mentioned. This was a God-given directive, not a self-inspired realization. God deliberately wired man this way to show us His attributes and help us better understand His heart. Man was divinely created male by design. When a man is surrendered to God, his character reflects who God is. This is how God is glorified. And as a man loves his woman the way Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it, we again see the character and heart of God at work right before our very eyes.
In the world today the lines of sexuality are blurred. Many people are quick to take offense at what are actually the natural inclinations of both sexes. Men are wired to conquer, to fix things, to lead. This doesn’t mean women are relegated to a weaker status or a less-than role, although physically we aren’t built to sustain what men can in their bodies.
When I read the creation story, I see that God has a special place in His heart for women. The fact that He would create men and then hold them accountable for the care of women and all that He created makes a huge statement. God expects men to live up to the mandate of every one of His charges given that day in the garden. This is why Adam suffered such severe consequences when he didn’t cover Eve and protect her from the wiles of the serpent. Instead, Adam followed her lead and sinned against God.
“Because you listened to your wife…cursed is the ground because of you,” God said (Genesis 3:17). Adam abdicated his post. He left his woman exposed. No one who understands the worth of what he has exposes anything he considers precious to danger. The fact that God would encourage husbands to care for their wives properly lest the men have their prayers hindered suggests that women are precious to God and held in His high esteem (1Peter 3:7).
But let’s get back to the men (we’ll cover women later). The bottom line is we shouldn’t get upset when our men want to lead. They have been created to do so—even commanded to do so for our sake. If we women can see men taking their rightful positions as leaders as a positive, the war between the sexes would be won.
How does this principle manifest? We need to view our homes and surrounding areas as mini kingdoms. A man wants to be a significant part of his surroundings. He is driven to make his mark. Men must make their mark on their world that announces to everyone, “I was here! I am an important contributor to what you have witnessed.”
How does this relate to us? What impact does this drive have on our relationship with our men? Trust me on this: If a man doesn’t feel significant in his home, if he doesn’t feel as if he reigns in his personal world, he will find somewhere else to rule. Whether it’s at work, an extracurricular activity, the arms of another woman…he will most definitely find a niche to be lord over. Man was made to be king of his personal domain, to “hold it down,” as some people say.
Your man’s identity as a man is wrapped up in what he is able to produce and how much in control he is. I find it interesting that even though no woman wants to feel as if she is being controlled or beneath her man, how quickly she will become disappointed or lose respect if her man appears weak, out of control, or not on top of the situation. If he doesn’t appear to be leading, his mate—his woman—often gets impatient and wonders why she must be the one to take the lead or come up with ideas and solutions for a given situation.
Deep in her core, a woman’s spirit recognizes a man who is or is not operating according to God’s design. And as we women and our partners drive in our own lanes, following the ways God designed us, we will find our relationships moving forward in an orderly fashion with a lot fewer collisions. This is when the relationship journey becomes beautiful, harmonious, and fruitful. Perhaps this is why we strive to better understand our mates. Understanding each other is key to having a vibrant, successful relationship that makes life a slice of heaven on earth.
What modern-day deceptions do you grapple with when it comes to the traditional roles of men and women in relationships?
Consider your mate or significant male figure in your life. In what ways does he reflect God’s design for man?
In what ways do you celebrate those traits in him?
In what ways do you help him be significant and make his mark?
Adapted from How to Get the Best out of Your Man, by Michelle McKinney.
Copyright © 2013 Michelle McKinney,. Published by Harvest House Publishers. Used with Permission.