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Love Hurts

There’s a well-known Roy Orbison song called “Love Hurts” that kicks off with these words: “Love hurts/love’s scars, love wounds and mars.”

While singer Roy Orbison was no marriage guru, his lyrics hit home. You feel pain when someone you love betrays or injures you. Certain actions or attitudes – unfaithfulness, selfishness, addiction — can wreak emotional and even physical wounds on a relationship that’s supposed to make you feel happy and safe. And when those wounds come from the person with whom you’ve joined yourself, heart and soul, in a covenant before God, the knife twists–and the pain increases.

The truth is, sometimes love hurts because we’re fallen creatures living in a fallen world. This broken world often hands us unwelcome trials –  a job loss, a miscarriage, a chronic illness, a child with special needs. But sometimes our own needy nature causes us to inflict pain on our spouse by succumbing to volcanic anger, abuse, or an addiction (pornography, alcohol, even television). Whether it’s done unwittingly or intentionally, we damage our marriage when we go MIA emotionally, fight, or react to conflict in passive-aggressive or narcissistic ways instead of ways that honor God and resolve problems.

When your spouse hurts you, your marriage is hurt. And when your marriage is hurt, you hurt. It’s as simple and as circular as that, like the wedding band you wear. But God can provide hope, help, and healing. Check out the following articles to help you when love hurts — and your marriage feels the pain.

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Surviving an Affair

Spouses who have not experienced an affair firsthand are usually very trusting. They don’t believe that infidelity could ever infect

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Chronic Illness & Kids: One Happy Family

For most couples, the decision to have a child is a no-brainer. After a year or two of married life,

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What’s Wrong With Our Marriage

Listen to these comments I’ve heard from four individuals, each in a different troubled marriage.  Wife A: “It’s gotten to

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Intimacy Anorexia: Reconnecting

Characteristics, continued… Withholding Spiritually. Intimacy anorexics can be very religious by attending church and sometimes even being the pastor or

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Talking Through the Tough Stuff

My life changed rapidly one afternoon last fall. I’d been pacing the house waiting for Jonathan’s phone call about his

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Wounded Warrior

PTSD and TBI are the signature wounds of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. They are referred to as the

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How a Man Handles a Miscarriage

Expect a Rollercoaster Ride That’s all I can say. Climb into the car near the front of the rows, buckle

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When Your Husband is Addicted to Pornography

Is your Husband Addicted to Pornography? No doubt the beaming faces of your friends and family members reflected the joy

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Making the Most of Counseling

If you find yourself in a place where there are no recommendations from people you trust, then research provider lists

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Taking Care of Raw Spots

I watched the couple sitting in front of me, each talking carefully and with a bit of calculation. I couldn’t

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