I always feel as though God has divine appointments with whom-ever He puts beside me. Recently, while flying back from a retreat in Alaska, I had an encouraging talk with the man seated next to me. He told me he and his wife had been married for 31 years and that he was still madly in love with her. It wasn’t complicated. He respected her and she respected him. He did what he could to make her happy, and she did the same.
When I asked him what had kept the passion in their relationship, he told me about the dream they shared their whole married life. For 31 years they had a common goal: to save enough money to buy a horse ranch. Neither of them had great-paying jobs, but they lived within their means and saved faithfully. Last year, they retired and bought their ranch. He said they’ve never had so much fun in all their lives, and the bond between them keeps growing stronger every day.
Contrast that with another conversation I had recently. It was with a woman who had been married for close to 20 years. It was obvious from the way she talked that her marriage lacked in the passion department. The everydayness of life had taken a toll on their relationship. They lived above their means and barely scraped by paycheck-to-paycheck. They had a lot of things, but were unhappy. They never shared a common dream and now weren’t even sure if they wanted a future together. They had no common goals. No common dreams. Maybe not even a common future.
Sometimes the only thing that gets us through today is the hope tomorrow holds. When your tomorrows start seeming less hopeful, the problems of today consume and destroy a person and a relationship. Have you and your husband spent time talking about your future? Do you have common goals that you are working toward together? Do you have any idea what dreams might be tucked in your husband’s heart? Does he have any idea of your dreams?
What fertilizer does for a plant, pursuing God’s purpose does for a life. Dreaming God’s divine plan and purpose for your life and marriage will cause growth. When a wife taps into this growth potential, wonderful things are bound to happen. Anytime you approach someone from their vantage point and draw out of them their passions and dreams, people light up. What would happen if you went to your husband and asked him about his dreams and how you could help him fulfill them? If you follow through with the commitments you make to him, you’ll see a changed man and one who is passionate about his helpmate.
I can’t say that I’ve done this perfectly. I did a poor job of even knowing what my husband’s dreams were in the beginning. It has been a process, but one well worth the effort. There is something magical about dreaming together. There is something passionate about working together to unlock those dreams and turn them into reality. Perhaps you should have a dream conversation with your husband this week, taking note of the things you can do to help him make them come true.
This article is taken from Lysa TerKeurst’s best-selling book, “Capture His Heart, becoming the godly wife your husband desires.” If you’d like to discover the eight basic desires of your man’s heart, be sure to order your copy today. And don’t forget to order a copy of “Capture Her Heart: Becoming The Godly Husband Your Wife Desires,” for your husband to read as well!