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I've found God working through me and some misconceptions I've had over the years to be answered the first time I visited Growthtrac. Thank you. —
Dee from New York |
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thanks to you
A true story from a life we've touched...
My story of hopelessness and my journey to finding life...
As a small child I called out to God
for the first time in my life asking Him to save me from my
nightmare of abuse. When He failed to do so I vowed never
to call on Him again. For thirty-two years I kept that vow
even while lying on a hospital bed and hearing my surgeons
tell my husband that they were doing all they could, but my
chance of survival and recovery did not look good.
 Even
then, though fearing where I would end up for eternity, I
refused to break and call on God for help. For years I tried
to block out any knowledge that God even existed. But He lovingly
pursued me all along the way bringing His people into my path
so that in spite of my anger and hatred of Him, try as I might,
I could not fully forget Him.
Shortly after my husband of nearly seventeen years and I married,
he committed His life to Jesus Christ. Throughout the years
I would sway between hating his faith, hating his changed
life and him, threatening to divorce him and at times pretending
for the sake of my children that I too loved their God.
A few years ago due to new trauma in my family's life, I tossed
out any pretense of loving or caring about God or His people.
I no longer cared what anyone thought. With venom I told anyone
trying to share with me my need for a Savior that I hated
their God and they could keep Him. I gradually shut everyone
in my life out, including my husband and children and lost
any desire to go on living.
God's Plan
Still, God strategically placed loving, forgiving believers
in my path to gently guide me to Himself. Many, many Christians
touched my life with their kindness, forgiveness and acceptance
in spite of my hatred for them.
Two weeks ago this past Sunday while my family sat in church
praying for my soul, my anger at God again rose to a fever
pitch.
While searching for something on the Internet I accidentally
landed on Growthtrac.
After reading their statement of faith, my anger burning,
I submitted a question to the Growthtrac staff stating that
I had always hated God and wanted to know what made them
think they had the answer. I never expected to get a reply,
but did from one of Growthtrac's founders.
The next few contacts made with them were a mixture of being
gently told of my need for Jesus in my life and my hatefully
replying and attacking the person writing to me. They too
forgave and persisted seeing past my anger to my deepest
need: the love of the Savior.
Over the next few days God used many things to begin to
soften my heart — the contact with Growthtrac's founders,
words from my precious children and strangers who shared
the reason for their faith with me. After waffling back
and forth for days I finally began to break.
With persistent, encouraging emails flying in from Growthtrac
who had again and again gently prodded me toward making
a decision, I made the decision to meet with the pastor
of my family's church to discuss my questions and confusion
concerning God.
After leaving I still struggled. I did not want to give
in and feared giving in even if my soul was at stake. But
all of the words that had been spoken to me —that week
especially —would not let me rest.
Two weeks ago yesterday, after wrestling with God for hours
while sitting by a lake near my home, I finally surrendered
my heart, my life and my will to the Lord Jesus Christ my
Savior and friend.
He has transformed me and is transforming my marriage into
one that can now bring Him glory. Thank you Growthtrac for
your commitment to serving God through this very excellent
ministry.
Because of Him,
Cynthia
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