Church Analytics

10 Steps to Overcoming Pornography Addiction

save a marriage

As Heard on GrowthtracRadio

1. First, you must acknowledge the addiction exists. Many who are caught in the trap of addiction will adamantly deny the problem. He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion. - Proverbs 28:13

2. You must recognize that what you are doing is wrong. Addicts find a way to justify their problem in their mind. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world. - I John 2:16

3. You must not blame others – “If my wife/husband were just more affectionate.” … “If women/men were not so seductive.” Adam blamed Eve and she blamed the serpent. Instead, you must begin to take responsibility for your actions.

4. Make yourself accountable to a spiritual authority, perhaps a pastor or mature believer. Everybody needs a “safe” person to share their struggles with. Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. - James 5:16

5. You must recognize that “will power” is not the answer. At a weak moment, your “will” may fail you. By admitting that you are in need of God’s help, you open access to His supernatural intervention in your life. You must yield your will to God’s will. That’s when He can begin a new work in your life.

6. Study the Word of God concerning sexual purity. Therefore putting aside all filthiness and all that remains of wickedness, in humility receive the Word implanted, which is able to save your souls. – James 1:21

7. You must destroy any pornography in your possession. You can’t wean yourself off pornography. Think of the hidden pornography in your home as a ticking time bomb that will ultimately destroy your family.

8. You must learn to flee temptation. Self-deception may enter when you think you can play with fire without getting burned. Do not enter the path of the wicked, and do not proceed in the way of evil men. Avoid it, do not pass by it. Turn away from it and pass on. – Proverbs 4:14,15

9. Give yourself time to work through the process of recovery. More often than not, God chooses to take us through a learning and growing process, that can be very painful. Victory over addiction should be viewed as a marathon, not a sprint.

10. It’s cliche, but you must approach your addiction one day at a time. Look for little victories and rejoice in the progress you’re making. Recovery is a cinch by the inch, but a trial by the mile.

Used by permission of New Life Ministries. New Life Ministries has a variety of resources on men, women and relationships. Call 1-800-NEW-LIFE or visit www.newlife.com.

• Also see Help & Healing: Pornography | Addiction | Sexual Boundaries | Accountability | Counseling

We'll Pray for You, submit a prayer request

Want a great marriage?

Join over 50,000 other marriages and sign up for our free monthly e-news.

  • Landon

    This goes to everyone on this page. I’m a Freshman in high school and have been battling pornography addiction for 4 years now. I was first introduced at a young age and ever since, that has been what is destroying my relationship with My God. I have allowed this addiction to take control, and screw up my Christian life. I offered my life to Christ 3 years ago but I never really completely stopped. I’ve had times where I would stay clean for months but just one simple thing, and I’m back in a life that is ultimately leading to my destruction. I have found that in the times reading my Bible, devotion my life to Christ, and focusing on serving him, I can win the addiction battle by battle. This is my advice to you. When you feel tempted, don’t just say ok I got this with God’s help and watch TV or get on the computer or listen to music. I urge you brother’s and sister’s to, in that time, Read your Bible for God’s comfort. This is my challenge to you that when you are tempted, look to God but not only in prayer, but also in Bible reading. God has moved mountains in my life and I don’t deserve his Mercy. I am nothing compared to the one who made me. I hope that for all you reading this, you find advice and encouragement to keep striving to win the addiction over, battle by battle, bit by bit, day by day. Remember: Having an Accountability Partner, or someone who you trust to help you stay on track, is a great idea. Thank you for reading this and if you will, Pray for me. My Name is Landon.

  • smeme

    I am a mother and have been addicted to porn for 12 years. I have continually asked Christ into my life to help me with my addiction but I always backslide.My husband has cheated on me with more than a dozen women and that makes it even more difficult to stop coz I feel justified in what im doing coz he rarely wants sex and I have a high libido. Im struggling with all of this and need prayer foe my husband to love me and appreciate me for the beauty ihave within.thanx

    • Godfrey Fernandez

      Do you love what your doing? If you dont love it, God sure will help you out, read Psalm 66:18

    • Liz

      Smeme, you are not the only mom dealing with this. Im in your shoes. I love God so much I feel so sick afterwards…I hate myself every time. With a husband who doesn’t have sex with me very often I too justify my actions. But in the end we are to not be moved by them. My soul is crying out to God. ..help me!!!

  • Godfrey Fernandez

    Everyone struggles with sin, the first thing to remember is dont hurt yourself with your mind, secondly ONLY GODS WORD CAN DELIVER, please read, Psalm 66:18. David said if he LOVED sin God would never had heard his prayers, but HE HATED SIN, so ask yourself just ONE THING. DO YOU LOVE AND ENJOY WHAT YOUR DOING? If you love it prayers and counseling is a waste, If you hate it, thats a good sign. Would love to help you more with this, feel free to email me at godfreyvine@gmail.com

  • Godfrey Fernandez

    Please read Psalm 66:18

  • Godfrey Fernandez

    The only powerful tool is GODS WORD, nothing else will and can help, read Psalm 66:18 my friend, and ask yourself if your loving what you do? You must begin to hate it first, cause if you love something what good is anyone advice or counsel?

    • David

      good evening my name is David.I’ve been a christian for around 6 years now. I’m 32 years old and have been battling with porn ever since I was the age of 6. The christian life has been a rollercoaster for me. There’s times when I enjoy it, and other times I don’t. I need help. I don’t want to do this anymore. its hindering my life along with anger. please help.

  • Godfrey Fernandez

    Your right my friend, we are all HUMAN BEINGS, thats the truth, but hey Gods Word never takes advantage of you, ITS ACTUAL GIVES YOU ADVANTAGE, so read Psalm 66:18, and make sure YOU HATE WHAT YOUR DOING FIRST, cause if your still LOVING IT, then all prayers are a waste.

  • Godfrey Fernandez

    Read Gods Word, everything else is a waste of time, if you RESPECT God and His word, then it will SURELY HELP, Read Psalm 66:18 my friend and stop loving what your doing.

  • KT

    Hello there….. I’m KT, and I’m addicted to porn and masturbation. Could you please guys help me with prayers to get rid of this demon.

    • growthtrac

      KT, I’ve just prayed for you.Thank you for posting. We’ll pray …

  • Josh

    My name is Josh, struggling with porn addiction since 15 years.
    Need help with my addiction. Please pray for me, I want to put this battle to rest once and for all, I want my life back. I want to have a connection with God again. Any prayer would be appreciated! An accountability friend will be awesome! Thank you.

    • growthtrac

      Hi Josh. Wanted you to know the ‘growthtrac team’ will be praying for you. Hang in there buddy. Jim

      • Josh

        Hey Jim,
        Thank you for your prayers.
        Today is my 5th day sober (no porn or no mastribuation) hope it continues… Josh

        Subject: Re: New comment posted on 10 Steps to Overcoming Pornography Addiction

        • growthtrac

          Josh, way to go.

          • growthtrac

            Hey Josh, how’s it going?

    • Nathan

      Hi Josh,
      Please make a decision to spent more time with the Lord in prayer or bible reading or simply enjoying His presence. Many times we are not equipped to handle the addiction. However, I believe (it worked for me) that if we could make “every” effort to spent time with God, He will provide the grace to overcome it.
      Thank you.

  • Mrs. Fontenot

    Hi, my name is Mrs. Fontenot, and I’ve been dealing with the struggles of pornography. My husband and I have been married going on four years; I kept myself pure for him and am glad to say he’s the ONLY man I’ve ever been intimate with. However, within the past year, his sexual appetite has declined noticeably and part of it isn’t his fault. I can’t help feeling like I’m being cheated though. I mean I “keep” myself and finally get to give all this passion I have without having to feel ashamed and it’s like nothing’s there. Through my efforts to search for ways to spice up our intimacy, I opened myself up to pornography unintentionally. When watching it, I just find myself longing for the intense passion that is portrayed, even though I know its just lust and not love. I love my husband and I love God. I don’t wanna continue to hurt God and I can’t bring myself to discuss this with my husband. I’m longing for more intimacy and romance with my husband but he seems to be unfazed. He’s dealing with some physical issues that weren’t a problem in the beginning of our marriage, and I think now he’s just settling with it and it’s having an affect (effect?) on our intimate life. ~Sigh~ Please, seriously pray for my deliverance and for restoration in this area of our marriage. Thanks.

  • Roy

    Hi, I have been battling this addiction for the last one year and the battle stil continue now. The longest that I have been to walk in purity is for almost 4 months. I must say that this addiction is really destroying from inside to whoever who is trapped with this. I just want to share what I did. It actually worked. I realize that I am a porn addicted person. Since the first time I let myself to fall into this trap about 13 years ago, I realized it has changed me. I must say that since I fell to this trap and been doing this demonic cycle for almost ten years ,It has changed me. What was seemed to not my daily activities has been my daily activites. Porn became my daily activites, It wasnt my daily things that I usually do. And I battled with it for years with my own power and it didnt work.

    I have been joining a ministry in my campus for almost 3 years and thank God that since I join this ministry God has revealed to me several things that I need to change. Here are some tips. You must first remember that you will never become a normal person like you were before you entered this sinfull act. You will always be a porn addicted person. You have to accept that. You will be free but not by being a person that is not addicted anymore. You will keep get addicted. Yes, that you will eventually be free. Dont try to be someone that you are not. You goal is not to be a person who is not addicted anymore. Your goal is to die for your lustfull desire and thoughts day by day. That is your goal. You must set a pattern to be healed. The purpose is not to change you as a person who is not addicted anymore. The purpose of this pattern is to die for your lustfull thought and desire day by day. Dont spend your battle to be someone that is not addicted. live your battle to show to the devil that though you are addicted, you will win this battle.

    Secondly, you must understand in which situation you fall each time. Evaluate yourself. Is it because the internet? Is it because watching movie? Is it because that you feel lonely? Is it because you feel angry? Is it because you are not busy with your job or other activities? Is it because your character? Evaluate yourself. Know your weakness and make a radical decision to overcome your weakness.

    The last that is more important is that build your relationship with God. Read bible daily. Fast is you never done fasting. Let this struggle be your daily prayer. Pray more, pray harder. Ask God to renewal your heart.

    Remember my friends that you are not strong. Dont live any second in your life as you are not addicted anymore. You are and will always be addicted to this. Your goal is to live in God’s way day by day. Ask God to clean your heart. Be humble and be a winner!

    Hope this helped you. As for me, my biggest battle is that after a month or two of walking in purity, my heart in some situation miss those demonic fantasy and in some condition I just gave up to those desire. This a stage of battle that Im trying to win. Please pray for me.

    So friends, let’s battle this addiciton together. Let God’s power help us to live day by day in sincerity.
    Lets fight this together with God!

    PS: sorry for my incorrect spelling, I dont know english very well.

    • growthtrac

      Roy, prayed for you…

  • Guage

    We all have to Pray for each other that Men won’t look at porn , that Marriage will be safe from Cheating by either side , that you won’t even read about swapping or any of that other stuff . GOD wants a Man to Marry a Woman and a Woman to Marry a Man for each to be FAITHFUL TO EACH OTHER . Please Pray for that Everyday . You don’t have to be ruled by porn ask GOD to FILL YOU WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT and to protect you, go out and day by day live as he would want you to live . You’ll be fine in JESUS Name .

  • Percy

    Hello there guys I’m a 12 year girl and my heart is hurting I’m sad depressed and angry because I can’t get over my pornography addiction, it all started when I was seven years old and it been destroying my life ever since. I was home alone and bored and was surfing threw YouTube and found a video of lesbian pornography and it all went done hill from there. I haven’t been caught I don’t ever want to be caught I just want it to stop! I’m in the youth groups leadership team and I work with the children on Sunday mornings. I feel sad and alone I have been trying very hard and fighting against it! Please keep me in your prayers I will pray for everyone on this website seeking salvation and help.

  • Stacey ochao

    I was married to my husband for 5 years we were living happily together for this years and not until he traveled to Italy for a business trip where he met this girl and since then he hate me and the kids and love her only. So when my husband came back from the trip he said he does not want to see me and my kids again so he drove us out of the house and he was now going to Italy to see that other woman. so I and my kids were now so frustrated and I was just staying with my mum and I was not be treating good because my mother got married to another man after my father death so the man she got married to was not treating her well, I and my kids were so confuse and I was searching for a way to get my husband back home because I love and cherish him so much so one day as I was browsing on my computer I saw a testimony about this spell caster DR AISABU testimonies shared on the internet by a lady and it impress me so much I also think of give it a try. At first I was scared but when I think of what me and my kids are passing through so I contact him and he told me to stay calm for just 24 hours that my husband shall come back to me and to my best surprise I received a call from my husband on the second day asking after the kids and I called DR. AISABU and he said your problems are solved my child. so this was how I get my family back after a long stress of brake up by an evil lady so with all this help from DR AISABU, I want you all on this forum to join me to say a huge thanks to DR AISABU, and I will also advice for any one in such or similar problems or any kind of problems should also contact him his email is (aisabulovespell@gmail.com) he is the solution to all your problems and predicaments in life. Once again his email address is (aisabulovespell@gmail.com)

  • Guest

    The final Gospel (Al-Quran) Chapter 17: Verse 32. Nor come nigh to adultery: for it is a shameful [deed] and an evil, opening the road [to other evils].

  • Anita

    I am 18 and have been battling with porn addiction ànd masturbation since I was 10. It all began with the sexual encounters with the nannies at home who used to violate me and the gardner too. I didn’t know what I was ďoing but I enjoyed it. Now I watch porn and masturbate and even when I try to stop knowing it’s a sin, I keep falling back and enjoying it all over again. Nobody knows about this problem and I’ve decided to share this because i’m trying to take a bold step to conquer this problem. Please help me! And pray for me.

  • Taylor Nancy

    my mouth is full of testimony is just like a dream but is real all thanks to papa Dr saulat.
    I will continue to share this testimony sir till the whole world had of it. i am out here to spread this good news to the entire world on how I got my ex husband back.I was going crazy when my husband left me and my two kids for another woman last month, But i complained to my colleague in my place of work and she discuss with me her experience too and how she over come with the help of papa Dr saulat the great messenger God is using to help people, I narrated my problem to Dr saulat about how my Husband left me and my two kids and also how i needed to get a job in a very big company.He only said to me that i have come to the right place were i will be getting my heart desire without any side effect.He told me what i need to do,After it was been done,24 hours later,My Ex Husband called me on the phone and was saying sorry for living me and the kids before now and one week after my Husband called me to be pleading for forgiveness,I was called for interview in a very big company here in Washington DC were i needed to work as the managing director..I am so happy and overwhelmed that i have to tell this to the entire world to contact saulatspellhome@yahoo.com on his personal email address or website http://drsaulatindiaspell.webs.com/ and get all your problem solve..No problem is too big for him to solve
    [

  • Taylor Nancy

    my mouth is full of testimony is just like a dream but is real all thanks to papa Dr saulat.
    I will continue to share this testimony sir till the whole world had of it. i am out here to spread this good news to the entire world on how I got my ex husband back.I was going crazy when my husband left me and my two kids for another woman last month, But i complained to my colleague in my place of work and she discuss with me her experience too and how she over come with the help of papa Dr saulat the great messenger God is using to help people, I narrated my problem to Dr saulat about how my Husband left me and my two kids and also how i needed to get a job in a very big company.He only said to me that i have come to the right place were i will be getting my heart desire without any side effect.He told me what i need to do,After it was been done,24 hours later,My Ex Husband called me on the phone and was saying sorry for living me and the kids before now and one week after my Husband called me to be pleading for forgiveness,I was called for interview in a very big company here in Washington DC were i needed to work as the managing director..I am so happy and overwhelmed that i have to tell this to the entire world to contact saulatspellhome@yahoo.com on his personal email address or website http://drsaulatindiaspell.webs.com/ and get all your problem solve..No problem is too big for him to solve

  • ronald

    G,day every one . Porno is every where . On tv, ON the walls On the street corners ,In the movies .and of cause it,s on the internet .Well it is only a click away to all this pleasure . How many times has God heard from us time and time again Lord forgive me i will never do it again . What is going on here ,We are trying Well lust brought down king David , .King Solaman with his 850 wives was never happy.,God told him it was not a good idea to have so many wives but his addiction to women brought him down .Solamon who built Gods temple was lead astray to worship other strange gods who were no gods at all . They were made of sticks and stones and needed a frame to hold them up .How could he do such a thing ? king David on the other hand pleaded with God not to take the Holy Spirit away from him. . To David that was the most valuable treasure in his life .He fasted and prayed for a clean heart before God .
    Our bodys need many things but it needs food and water the most or we will die Christ fasted for forty days and nights to overcome temptations of the flesh . He must have been nearly dead but why is this in the bible for us to read. Christ also said lust of the flesh only comes out by pray and fasting .This is the only way to bring your boby into line . If we pray and go without food for one week but only drink water then we will see a big change in our way of thinking . Can you do this as a follower of Jesus.. Some things only leave us alone by prayer and fasting . Habits just die hard . Lust and perversion just start packing up and going from you.as u pray and fast . Maybe some time i can tell you about how i was like a bird in a trap and no way could i set myself free It is only by prayer and fasting that i am here on this site today . Gods mercy and forgivness just flows like a river from the highest mountain and flows down into the lowest vallies.. Just reach out and tough him because u can .
    Porno is like a cute little monkey We see him and pick him up and put him onto our shoulder.Then we give him a banana to eat Nice little monkey how could he hurt me ,he is so cute . Then he starts to grow bigger and needs more banana. and then he grows into a gorilla and then starts to demand banana , He has a vice like grip on you now and he don,t wan,t to get off you. . After that he get so big and heavy that he crushes you. Stop feeding the monkey . With Gods help, get him off now , Maybe i talk to much but i have been married for 38 years and a lot of good christains have been slain by him . Pasters elders youth workers ,and lust will get u too.if you let him . I know its hard to talk about these things and i think if you are a member of a church team u need to step down and tell an elder .now . . cya captain ron Jesus savior pilot me over the sea i am just a fisherman

  • Tristan

    Hey men, I am a 27 year old married man who has been struggling with pornography for as long as I can remember. It has affected my marriage and the way I view my wife and our sex life to the point of my wife having anxiety over the thought of having sexual relations with me. I find myself having urges throughout the day and turning to God to try and keep the urges at bay. I would appreciate prayer for spiritual healing and a renewed mind.

    Thanks

    • growthtrac

      Tristan, I just prayed for you.

  • Stephen

    Pray for me I’m a 25 year old single male never been married still a virgin when I came to know Christ I was a porn addict and I quit watching for like six months and now have started back I’ve have tried everything destroyin electronics that have it on it and it keeps coming back in my life really need prayers

  • Lost

    At the age of 5 I was introduced to porn and masturbation by an older cousin. For the next say 13 years of my life I was bound by porn and masturbation. It literally was something I did every 2-3 days. I grew up in a Christian home and knew this was wrong, however over those years I lost control. I wanted to stop but couldn’t. I ended up going to bible college at 19 years old. There God delivered me completely. I walked in freedom for years and even helped others overcome what I had. However, when I was about 26 I met a woman and we began to date. I later would marry her and she became saved. That’s well and good, but during the time we were dating we began to have sex outside of marriage and experiment with each other with different things. One thing was we would watch porn while we would have sex. I never realized or maybe just wanted to ignore it, but that really opened the flood gates like I could never imagine. We are now married and I can truly say I love my wife. Yet, there is this dark side of me that wants the porn and masturbation. My wife is beautiful and in my head I know I am like why do I need anything or anyone else. I have gotten to the point where I don’t feel God’s conviction anymore. I feel bad but it’s not the same. I am so scared that God will give up on me. I can’t blame Him, but I am so tired of this. More than 75% of my life I have been bound. I want out, but seems like my prayer life is dead and God’s presence is beyond me at this point. Please pray for me.

    Secret Addict

    • growthtrac

      “Secret” … I’ve prayed for you.

  • Aaaaarrrrrriiiiiinnnnnnaaaaaa

    I am a 12 year old girl. Shocker right? And I watch porn every couple of months when my mind goes completely bizerk and I completely let myself do it. I hate it really but I get in this mood and my body it like gets all tingly. I want to stop so bad but it’s so tempting. I hate myself that I ever started watching it. I really want to stop and I know one of the first things I need to do is acknowledge that I do it but that’s so hard. I can’t just walk up to my parents and be like I’m addicted to porn because then they would kill me. They are very strict Pentecostal Christians and I am trying to be he best christian ever but this sin is blacking me. I want to have a strong relationship with god but this sin is distracting me. HELP

older

30
Dec
2005
2:23am, UTC

7 Myths that Hurt Young Women

newer

30
Dec
2005
2:23am, UTC

Nabbing Thieves that Steal Your Intimacy