Megan and Tim

marriage-couple

Tim and Megan’s relationship wasn’t always smooth sailing. Tough times and a new foundation brought them back on course.

Tim…

Megan and I met when she interviewed with me for a job at my store on Saturday October 7, 1995. There was such a strong chemistry between us that by the following Friday, I had broken up with my current girl friend of six years and Megan and I went on our first date.

We spent the day on my little speed boat. The weather was sunny and 70 degrees, an absolutely beautiful October day. It was so warm and peaceful that as Megan held me in her arms, I fell asleep. I guess it goes back to our song, “When you really love a woman”, from the movie Don Juan D’Marco. The verse says, “And when you find yourself lying there helpless in her arms, you know you really loooooove a woman.”

Megan…
Oh what a great first date! I will never forget that day. It was the beginning of the rest of my life with Tim.

After working with Tim and dating for a short time, I could not afford my own apartment much longer. Naturally, Tim suggested that I move in with him. This later proved to be a very poor decision. It was definitely not what God wanted.

We did not have Christ in our lives that strongly back then. We both knew God. We both thought we were Christians, but we made our own rules.

Tim…
In December of ’95, Megan and I decided she would move in with me. The small apartment above my flooring store was our home for the next year-and-a-half before moving into our new town home. We really have fond memories of living there.

Megan and I were struggling. We worked together, lived together and my mother and her despised each other. And Megan worked for me — I was her boss. I often drank too much and Megan had her problems getting along with many co-workers due to severe attitude problems on her part.

In the fall of 1998 I fired Megan, the love of my life. We continued to struggle. My closest friends and family encouraged me to leave Megan. I think the same is true for Megan’s closest family and friends. Our relationship was either fantastic or horrible depending on which hour in time you chose.

Megan…
I was unemployed and not happy with our relationship. I told Tim I’m leaving and I didn’t know when or if I’m coming back. I visited my mom in Texas. I wanted to find myself. After six weeks I was able to get a clear view of our relationship and learned I loved Tim and did not want to lose him.

Tim…
Then, tragedy struck. Megan lost two precious people in her life: Her father, at the young age of 52, and her grandmother. Megan came back home and I was there to love and support her.

Further complicating our lives, Megan developed serious health problems and gained a lot of weight. She fell in to depression.

And always overshadowing our relationship was the aftermath of an event that occurred years earlier in Megan’s life. Megan had been raped the summer before we met. We were still coping with that trauma — together. <

In spite of our difficulties I proposed to Megan in May of 1999. We set a date of September 9th, 2000 for the wedding.

Megan…
We were so excited about the date, but later that summer, we cancelled that wedding date and had no further intentions of setting another date any time soon. I felt as though Tim did not love me for who I was. I know I was in depression over my father’s death. It was bad. Tim started drinking again and I was thinking of leaving him again.

Despite that, Tim and I had been through a lot together. Now, Tim was loving me through these awful traumas. He was a wall of courage. Tim had supported me through my darkest days.

Looking back through the pain, I have learned there is always something great that comes from it. God works in great ways.

Tim…
On April 26, 2000 my life changed. After Easter service, I listened to an old audio tape for the first time. It was a tape of my dad singing, recorded a few days before he died. I was told he gave his life to Jesus after making this recording. My dad sang these words:

 

“I cry as one crying in the wilderness, knowing no other way to go. Across the blazing sand I cry out unto thee. Oh Lord please answer my plea. Lord I know your mercy endureth forever and ever and ever for God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son to me. And whom so ever calleth onto me I will in no ways cast out and Lord I commit my soul into your hands.”

 

This song so deeply moved me that I decided right then and there that I would recommit my life to Jesus. That no matter how many times I failed, I would continue to call on his name to ask forgiveness. That I would become a player in the church, not just watch in the stands, and that I would start right now. l went home to pray.

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Megan…
I was excited for him at first, then I had my doubts as to how long this phase was going to last. He told me we were not going to have sex again until we were married. “What? I don’t think so!” This made me so angry. At first I thought this was something his mother was doing to try to split us up again. Then I realized he was serious. I was furious. He decided this without even talking to me about it. His mind was made up.

Tim…
Megan reacted with anger when I told her we could no longer have sex. My life was changing. I started going to church twice a week and signed up for the membership class at our church. I also talked Megan into going to the pre-marriage seminar.

Megan…
It was funny because years before I had asked him if we could go to the pre-marriage seminar and he was not interested, so we did not go. But now he was excited. I was still a little skeptical. I couldn’t believe his transformation and I kept wondering when this phase would end.

Tim…
A few weeks later, while on a weekend trip with Megan, we fell back into sexual impurity. The pain I felt deep inside my soul for hurting and anguishing my precious Lord and savior was more that I could bear. I knew right at that moment we would never make that mistake again.

Megan…
I will admit at the time of making the decision I was selfish. I wanted him so bad and after all, he had made this decision without really talking it over with me first. So I took advantage of him. Boy did I regret it later! I never felt so bad for making love to my honey. I realized then this truly was a sin and I really felt I let God down. I never wanted to do that again.

Tim…
Megan and I continued going to the pre-marriage seminar, which we both agree, was absolutely outstanding. Megan began to respect and agree with maintaining sexually purity. I continued in my studies for church membership. God was working in our lives. Things between Megan and I were improving — dramatically.

Megan…
After Tim and I started going back to church together and going to the pre-marriage seminar, we met up with our mentor couple [that is part of the pre-marriage process at our church].

This was something. I thought for sure they were going to judge us and say, “No way will they ever last!” But we learned so much from them! We love them so much and we are very grateful for God putting them into our lives.

Tim…
That June, Megan and I were baptized. It was a moment in time we will forever hold dear to our hearts.

Megan…
That was a changing point in my life. I re-committed myself to the Lord and I made it known to everyone I knew that I was being baptized and I wanted the whole world to know that I am a Christian. I also believe that my heart was softened after that day.

This thing with Tim and I not sleeping together was still bothering me. We still did not have a date set for the wedding and in my mind I had no idea how long I would have to wait.

That day, right then and there, I realized it was important for Tim and I to honor God’s design for marriage and show the world we are true followers of God’s word. So Tim moved out. I felt terrible about it, because we own this home together and we really love this place. But we needed to do the right thing. And don’t let me kid you — it has been very difficult! I miss him.

Tim…
I knew inside I needed to move out. We had to separate our living quarters to leave no doubt in the minds of friends and family that we were honoring God with sexual purity. So in September, I moved out…

Megan…
Life with Tim has never been better now that we share a love for Christ. We are not trying to do it alone anymore. There is no way I would ever go back to the pain of trying to do this life without Christ. I truly love Tim and would never have stayed with him all these years if I did not.

But, without accepting Jesus into our relationship and sticking with His plan for us no matter how hard, we never would have made it through another year together.

Tim…
We decided to make Christ the center of our daily lives. So many wonderful and enriching things have happened, there are too many to hit them all. We have grown in our respect and appreciation for one another to a level I never dreamed possible. Our relationships with our friends and family are so much richer and deeper than ever before. The walls between my mom and Megan have come crashing down replaced with forgiveness, reconciliation and healing love.

Megan…
I cannot wait until May 12, 2001 until the moment that I lock eyes with my honey, and walk down the aisle. We will know in our hearts the pain, the struggle, the sacrifice, the love and the history we went through to get to that day.

I cannot wait until I can touch my honey again, and show him how much I love him, like a wife should show her husband. Because that truly is a gift that should be shared between two loving, married, God-honoring people. I know now, having removed sex from the relationship, Tim loves me for me and not for the sex. He is still with me for the person that I am — not the sex.

Tim…
Our marriage mentor couple helped Megan and I see us and our relationship through the grounded eyes and mind of our King, Jesus Christ.

The transparent, truly caring and selfless counseling and conversation we have enjoyed with our mentor couple has touched our lives very deeply and given us renewed perspective of each other and ourselves.

Megan and I have participated in many Christian classes and activities to continue to build our life on the rock of Jesus. We are so excited for that day when our eyes meet, as Megan walks down that aisle… We know that is our day of victory in Christ.

Megan and Tim were married May 12, 2001, and are “graduates” of the pre-marriage process at their home church.

Copyright © 2001, Growthtrac

 

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