Making Touch Meaningful
Couples need to create emotional bonding times. Keeping the flames of romance alive may not always seem as important as security or meaningful communication, but it is. Consistent positive times of emotional bonding can add tremendous stability to a home. Remaining tender during a trial is one of the most powerful ways to build an intimate relationship.
Touch has the power to instantly calm, reassure, transfer courage, and stabilize a situation beginning to spin out of control. With touch, we push back the threatening shadows of anger, bitterness, loneliness, and insecurity. Romantic touching and hugging can convey peace and comfort, as well as love. To the degree that we employ it with our mate, we remove the emotional threats that block intimacy.
Meaningful touching outside the bedroom can create sparks in a marriage, and meaningful communication can fan the flames. Most women report that they need to feel emotionally connected to enjoy physical intimacy. They need to feel loved and cherished. They need displays of physical affection, but not necessarily the sex act itself. Men, however, are motivated by the sexual act. They need sexual intimacy and state that physical affection and feeling cherished aren’t always necessary for them to feel sexually satisfied. However, men still need affection and cherishing in the overall relationship.
When used correctly, the differences in the way men and women respond to sex can complement each other. When not taken into consideration, these differences will tear apart the very fabric of your mutual fulfillment. Decide to stop waiting for things to get better. Only the two of you working together toward love will make the intimate difference. Acquire and practice new attitudes and skills that lead to fulfilling relationships.
Adapted from 4 Days to a Forever Marriage, by Gary and Norma Smalley.
Copyright © 2011 Gary and Norma Smalley, Published by New Leaf Publishing Group, used with permission. All rights reserved.
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Gary Smalley
Gary Smalley is a family counselor, president and founder of the Smalley Relationship Center and author of books on family relationships from a Christian perspective. Among other issues, he taught about the four temperaments in a format based on well known animals, the otter, lion, golden retriever, and beaver.
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