If the Truth Were Known

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This is the year for weddings. I’ve attended four so far and each was entirely different than the next, reflecting the uniqueness of each couple. But I wonder how many couples would stand at the altar if they knew what lies ahead after the honeymoon. What if pastors and officiates tossed aside political correctness and told the truth about marriage?

Here’s a few truthful suggestions:

  • Marriage success requires 100 percent effort. Click To Tweet A 50-50 split won’t work.
  • In marriage, there are moments when you cannot do what you want to do, eat what you want to eat, and spend money the way you want to spend money.
  • Marriage may include hard times. Illness or unemployment could be one of your wedding gifts.
  • Marriage means saying, “I’m sorry, I was wrong, please forgive me,” over and over and over again.
  • Marriage means forgiving each other every day — sometimes more than once.
  • Marriage does not guarantee romance and passion will happen spontaneously at a moment’s notice. Busy schedules and exhaustion may make planning for romance the reality.
  • Marriage means praying together. If you don’t, you will join the 92-96 percent of Christian couples who feel prayer is too personal and too uncomfortable to share with their spouse.
  • Marriage requires diplomatic truthtelling, even if a disagreement ensues.
  • Marriage means sharing. There is no such thing as “mine.”
  • Marriage will not meet all your needs, wants, and desires. Your spouse may disappoint you at the reception, and he’ll definitely disappoint you before the honeymoon is over.
  • Marriage shows you how selfish you really are.
  • Marriage does not mean you have reached mature adulthood.  Instead, it often reveals incredible levels of immaturity.
  • Marriage means you will not have “in love” feelings 24-7.  Feelings are not the same as truth and can misguide you. Marriage is a daily choice to remain committed despitethe ebb and flow of feelings.
  • Marriage is not a football, baseball, basketball, or hockey game.  Keeping score is not an option.
  • Marriage means change. Hopefully, you are the one open to change and growth.
  • Marriage means compromise Click To Tweet —finding a middle ground. Your way is not the right way, neither is it the only way to approach a task or situation.
  • Marriage is not about self-fulfillment but about self-denial. In other words, sacrifice.
  • Marriage is not easy, but it is rewarding when you can brag that you’ve made a 30- or 40-year milestone and still kiss, pray together, hold hands, have sex, and love each other.  Most people are astounded by such an accomplishment.

Copyright © 2016 Sheri Mueller, Growthtrac Ministries

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About Sheri Mueller

bio-sheri-mueller Sheri Mueller is an LPC who earned her M.A. in Professional Counseling from Olivet Nazarene University. A certified facilitator and trainer for PREPARE/ENRICH, the most widely used customized couple assessment tool, Sheri has worked for more than 15 years to help individuals, premarital couples, and married couples build and maintain healthy relationships. An author of numerous articles and a regular column, Mentor Minute, Sheri, with her husband, Jim, founded Growthtrac Ministries. See Sheri's Mentor Minutes

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