Are you a student of your husband?
Are you immersed in a process of learning what pleases him most?
Did you know that your husband — and most men — view romance through different lenses than most women? To confirm this, the next time you are in Bible study or Sunday school class, divide the men and women into separate groups and ask them to answer the same question: “What is something romantic that you would like your spouse to do for you?”
I’ll guarantee you that, if they are honest, the men will focus on physical intimacy: “Dress up in a sexy negligee,” or, “Meet me at the front door without any clothes.” The women, however, will say things like, “Take me to a romantic, candle-lit restaurant,” “Spend time talking with me,” or “Sit in front of a fire and cuddle.” Men are generally motivated by sight and touch, while women usually want to develop a relationship.
Now I know that’s not true for some folks. But for us it was an all-time memory maker. I won’t bore you with the details, but I took weeks to plan a two-week honeymoon in the Colorado Rockies. We camped, hiked, explored the magnificent Rocky Mountains, fished, took tons of pictures, and stayed in a cabin next to a roaring river.
She loved our time together because it was an adventure with plenty of time for just the two of us to talk and share our thoughts and our dreams.
His Sexual Satisfaction
Your husband is a sexual creature made in the image of God. Many wives misunderstand this. They think the male sex drive is something dirty. They wonder if God holds His nose every time a man initiates. Why do some women think this way? Because, in all likelihood, they fail to remember the male sex drive is God’s idea.
I’m not surprised that this gift which God intended to use as a means to draw husbands and wives closer, Satan twists to drive them apart. Most men, for example, find initiating the sex act one of the riskiest ventures he could ever make. Why? Each time he initiates sex, he risks rejection.
When a man is rejected often enough, he typically internalizes his anger, his hurt, and his disappointment until such time when the rejection drives him to one of several reactions — none of them are good. Either he will give up on the relationship, he will seek alternative sexual outlets such as pornography, or he might compromise his wedding vows by pursuing female affirmation elsewhere.
Can you see how a wife has the power to affirm or to wound her husband? Let me add, when she affirms him she brings joy to her heavenly Father, too. Isn’t that powerful? When you embrace your femininity and affirm your husband’s sexuality, you are an agent of blessing. I’m convinced that as you meet your husband’s God-given sexual drive along with other keys in your relationship — your husband will be a satisfied man.
A Final Encouragement
I am convinced our enemy does not want husbands and wives to be intimate — sexually or otherwise. In fact, everywhere we turn, the abuse of sex is celebrated: on television, in the movies, in popular music, in advertising, and especially on the Internet. Satan serves up a powerful counterfeit in order to keep couples from enjoying God’s good design for sex.