I recently discovered an intriguing article in Psychology Today by Rebecca Webber entitled, Are You with the Right Mate?
A few of my favorite quotes from the article include:
- We’re all difficult. Everyone who is married is a difficult spouse. We emphasize that our spouse is difficult and forget we’re difficult for them.
- There comes a moment in all relationships when you lie in bed, roll over, look at the person next to you, and think it’s all a dreadful mistake. It’s not a sign that you’ve chosen the wrong partner. It is the signal to grow as an individual—to take responsibility for your own frustrations.
- In mature love, says Meinecke, author of the book Everybody Marries the Wrong Person, we do not look to our partner to provide our happiness, and we don’t blame them for our unhappiness. We take responsibility for the expectations that we carry, for our own negative emotional reactions, for our own insecurities, and for our own dark mood.
I find this next statement distinct and right on the mark.
- Marriage is not about finding the right person. It’s about becoming the right person.
As a Christian, I do not agree with the Psychology Today piece, which reflects our culture and tells us we should not settle for anything that is not ideal for us. Unfortunately, Christian marriages continue to fall into the trap of conforming to the ways of this world, rather than to the renewing of the mind (Romans 12:2).
I pray each day for marriages, with the hope they will stand firm through the difficulties and walk a different path—one that reinforces commitment even when circumstances are less than ideal.
Copyright © 2016 Sheri Mueller, Growthtrac Ministries