Building Block Six: Mutual Submission


Some Bible interpreters have made much of the fact that wives are told in the Bible to submit to their husbands. In stressing the woman’s responsibility, however, they fail to see that the passage in Ephesians 5 is prefaced by the following important words:

Do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit, . . . submitting to one another in the fear of God (Eph. 5:18,21).

These verses were written to the entire community of Christ. They were penned almost 2,000 years ago by the apostle Paul who went on to apply the principle of mutual submission to several relationships. Not surprisingly, he saw that the first relationship needing this kind of mutual spirit was marriage.

Submission and love go together. We know that God is love, but how do we know He loves us? Because with great humility and submission, Christ went to the cross (Phil. 2:5-8).

In a Christian marriage, husband and wife, because they love God, are submitted to what the will of God is for them. They are in a process of letting go of themselves and submitting to God and to each other. Having the “mind of Christ” produces mutual submission. While there are countless ways of expressing this attitude it at least means:

	Marriage is give and take—not just take.
	Marriage is often very difficult.
	Marriage is rising above self-absorption.
	Marriage is being a servant.
	Marriage is seeing when it is loving to give in.
	Marriage is helping when she’s tired.
	Marriage is caring about each others hurts.

So, what does this mean? It may mean that a wife needs to see routine chores as something that is not “beneath her.” In heaven’s eyes, she is far more than the family maid.

But it also means that a husband is not to view his house as his castle, and all of its inhabitants, including his wife, as his subjects. Rather, having the mind of Christ, he is to see it as the place where he has the best opportunity of all to humble himself—to be a servant.

After all, in every life situation—including the home—that’s what followers of Christ are to be. Mutual submission is an important building block that will make a marriage work!