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Building Block Two: Shared Identity
The second building block for a strong marriage is for husband
and wife to see themselves as one. No longer is it a man living
his life for himself and a woman living hers for herself.
There is now a new union, a new family, a new unit. Adam expressed
this shared identity when God brought him the woman.
He said:
This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man
(Gen. 2:23).
The next verse concludes with the words, ”they shall become
one flesh” (v.24).
But it’s not always easy to live out that oneness in everyday
life. This is because the husband and wife have different habits,
different backgrounds, different parents, different education,
different personalities, and different emotional scars.
Besides, Eve was not a clone of Adam. She was unique, as every
human being is unique. She did not come off some assembly line.
She was different, both physically and emotionally. She had
different needs—needs Adam alone could satisfy. And she alone
could satisfy Adam’s needs.
In marriage, a man and woman are brought into union. They become
one, blending into each other’s lives. It’s once-for-all, yet
it’s a process. Time, love, patience, and forgiveness are needed
to bring the shared identity of marriage into maturity. And
it has wonderful results. The man and woman are no longer alone.
They are one, even at a time when:
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He’s
in a motel room a thousand miles away |
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She’s
in the pains of childbirth |
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He
has just lost his job |
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She
has discovered a mysterious lump |
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He
has received a good promotion. |
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She
has been offered a new job |
 |
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The two are one. Although they are distinct persons with
vast differences, they have agreed to walk the path of life
as one. They have a shared identity.
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