She looks radiant in her white chiffon gown, draped with lace—her wispy veil unable to hide her excitement. He looks handsome in his tux—striking, strong, and full of

anticipation as he awaits the arrival of his bride at the front of the church where they will officially join their lives together. The ceremony and celebration of this moment are fit for the coronation of a prince and his princess.

But this is not the wedding of royalty. Similar customs and emotions happen every day all over the world. A man and a woman merge their lives with the highest of expectations, and seal it with a kiss. This is the drama of countless movies and novels, poems and plays, tales and legends. Two people give themselves to each other and then live happily ever after. Or do they?

While everyone seems to love a wedding, many are skeptical of marriage. The suspicions are deserved. Disappointment predictably invades every relationship. Disillusionment erodes the hopes of couples who once stood at an altar and pledged themselves “till death us do part.”

Too often, shattered dreams and broken hearts show up at a courthouse to dissolve in pain what began with such promise. With alarming frequency, damaged relationships are disowned like pieces of old furniture. Sometimes there’s no other choice. But often what is needed is a new vision for what could be restored rather than replaced.

A new oak table, fresh from the woodshop, once graced the dining room of a fine restaurant. Over the years, the restaurant changed ownership several times. Finally, the building was sold to be remodeled for offices. The table, now scratched and gouged, missing its legs and covered over with layers of paint, was put out with the trash to be discarded. It caught the eye, however, of a carpenter who took an interest in the discarded piece. He salvaged the table and took it to his shop with the intent of one day doing something with it.

The table sat in the corner of the shop for years until it was finally pulled out and stripped of its old finish—revealing a richly grained oak. Delighted, he sanded it down, refinished it, and then built sturdy new legs for it. Restored to its original beauty and strength, the table now graces the woodworker’s home. All who see it are amazed at what would have been lost if new eyes hadn’t seen what was hiding under the old paint.

Worn and damaged marriages can often be restored like that table in my family room. Even after original dreams have been marred and scarred to the point that a marriage’s value is questioned, there can be hope. Although marriage covenants are sometimes broken beyond repair, most of us can find new hope in the God who wants an opportunity to teach us to love one another as He has first loved us.

The goal of this booklet is to see the possibilities that emerge when the greatest Carpenter of all is allowed to show what He can do with the damaged lives of a troubled home. In the process, we’ll look together at God’s original design for oneness in marriage. We’ll weigh the impact of the spiritual wear and tear that has caused so much of our pain. And we’ll consider how to let God Himself move us back to the shared wonder of His original design. This is our goal, but first let’s take a look at some myths that need to be exposed.

The author, Tim Jackson, is a licensed counselor in Michigan and is Senior Counselor in the RBC biblical correspondence department.





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