Dating: Wait or Date, Page 2

t-dating-marriage

Key Point 4:

The servant prayed specifically for God to reveal the one right woman (verses 12-14). Pray specifically, and recognize there is one particular person God made/intended for you to be with. Does it make any sense that God wouldn’t have a specific opinion about who you share the rest of your life with? If He has a specific plan for your life (and He does), why wouldn’t He have an opinion on who could best help you fulfill that plan once they join the picture?

If Isaac and Rebekah aren’t proof enough, how about Adam and Eve. Did God make an assortment of amazing babes and tell Adam to pick out the one he really had the hots for? No? God made one woman for Adam and this woman was the perfect complement for him. Why would it be different now?

God wants you to connect with His will and best plan for your life. Pray specifically that God will show you clearly when the right one shows up. It might not be right away for various reasons, but with God it certainly could be! Note that Rebekah was the answer to both Abe’s and his servant’s requests. She was one of Abraham’s relatives (as he prayed for) and she specifically met the requests of the servant to a T (verses 15-27).

Key Point 5:

The woman had character consistent with God’s best: pure (v. 16), modest (v.65), caring/selfless/respectful (vs. 18-20), willing to submit to God’s leading (vs. 57-58), considerate (v. 25) Before you can expect God to give you the best, you have to be God’s best for someone else. Eagles aren’t attracted to turkeys. Become what you’re looking for.

Key Point 6:

The servant sought the counsel of the woman’s family (vs. 33-49). Bringing godly counsel into a relationship is one of the best ways to safeguard against impulsive mistakes. Wise, godly people can hold you accountable with objective counsel. This also gives you a chance to look for one of the most important traits in a marriage partner — teachability. The person you marry isn’t going to be perfect, but if they are teachable, God can reach them. That means they will respond to you and Him when issues need to be addressed without becoming overly defensive or resentful. A teachable person will likely be willing to work at being the best spouse possible which will make for a great marriage!

Get more — Free! e-book — Les & Leslie Parrott's, The Good Fight

Key Point 7:

They didn’t get emotionally or physically involved with anyone but the one they married (vs. 67). We need a new (or maybe old) dating mentality. The current typical one doesn’t work unless you like getting your body and heart used up and spit out before you even figure out who you’re supposed to be with. This kind of dating we have today is relatively new and doesn’t fit at all with the way I believe God intended two people to get together.

Instead of doing the typical dating thing, try this instead. Get involved with Christian singles through your church, missions, or travel. Spend time around them as friends. Do social things, talk on the phone, do things in groups, become friends.

After getting to know them pretty well, if you find someone that you are at least moderately attracted to and you have the important things in common — spiritual interest, values, etc. — spend time together (still as friends) praying about what God wants for the friendship. When you don’t have a physical relationship, it’s amazing how much more easily and clearly you perceive God showing you what He wants you to do. Continue to be friends until God says differently. Both people should be convinced of God’s answer in their own personal time with Him, but ideally the man should be the one to pace the relationship according to God’s standards.  In short — keep it friendly until God tells you differently. And remember, God doesn’t play games. If you are truly waiting on Him, He will be very specific and direct when He feels you need to know.

Key Point 8:

The man (with the help of family) initiated the relationship, while the woman was attentive and receptive. Back to the lock and key illustration, the key is the one that moves about and initiates an unlock situation. The lock on the door stays in one place. I still believe in men being the pursuers. There’s just something not right about women chasing men. If you’re just hanging out being friendly that’s fine, but to initiate time together and pace the relationship, that is up to a god-fearing, praying man. A true man of God will pace the relationship very slowly and patiently, waiting for God’s leading. He won’t build false hope in the woman’s mind by getting carried away by his own emotional desires and moving too fast.

Copyright © 2006 Julie Ferwerda, Used by permission.

For more great information on how to recognize and wait for God’s best, featuring her own amazing God-orchestrated love story, order Julie’s book, “The Perfect Fit, Piecing Together True Love,” at www.JulieFerwerda.com.

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