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date night ideas
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Too
many couples settle for mediocrity in their marriage, when
they would never settle for second best in other areas of
their lives, says marriage and family expert Jim Burns. A
marriage that is a true union of souls — a connection
of love, respect, romance, and spiritual oneness — sounds
like a fairy tale. But it's possible to build such a relationship,
and even improve date nights.
Showing affection, warmth, and encouragement to one's spouse
may sound like a no-brainer. But with so many demands on their
time and energy, husbands and wives often neglect their relationship.
A one-time workaholic whose affair with his job created a
crisis in his marriage, Burns developed these principles with
his wife, Cathy. They instituted a three-point plan: a non-negotiable
date night each week; being away from home only three nights
a week; and giving Cathy veto power over Jim's schedule. Another
couple may need a different plan, with five, ten or twenty
agreed-upon principles. The point is to be intentional about
marriage — make it a top priority, Burns says.
Here are ten strategies from Burn's book that can transform
your marriage.
1. Adjust your attitude. You might not be able to change
your spouse, but you can change yourself.
2. Show affection and warmth. Simple gestures can change
your spouse's mood and the atmosphere in your home.
3. Offer encouragement. It takes nine affirming comments
to make up for one critical comment. If you are like most
people, you owe your spouse a boatload of encouragement. Watch
for opportunities to give your husband or wife an affirming
word.
4. Give sexual intimacy the time and attention it deserves.
Are you too tired to work on this? Then your priorities are
in the wrong place. Find at least two hours per week to spend
on romance and intimacy. And flirt with your spouse —
remind him or her that you're attracted to them.
5. Make friends with your spouse. The basic principles
of friendship apply to marriage, too: friends tend to have
more patience with each other; they extend grace, forgiveness,
and kindness towards one another; and they have fun together.
6. Schedule (yes, schedule!) more fun in your marriage.
Look for creative date night ideas — don't just go out
for dinner and a movie. Your willingness to put some thought
into enjoyable, out-of the-ordinary things to do together
will speak volumes to your spouse.
7. Practice "thank therapy." Sit down today
and list at least twenty reasons why you are grateful for
your spouse.
8 . Accept that not all problems are resolvable. Some
problems will always be in our lives in one form or another.
Find a workable solution you can both live with.
9. Nurture spiritual growth. Start by praying daily
for your spouse and your relationship. Besides attending worship
services together, develop a regular time to practice spiritual
disciplines such as devotions, bible study, prayer, and reading.
10. Review and renew your marriage vows. Vow renewal
ceremonies are often more meaningful than the wedding. Reviewing
and renewing your vows will move you toward spiritual intimacy
— as you read over your vows, you will be surprised to
see how often the AWE factor is present in the words, symbols,
and the ceremony itself
Excerpted from Creating an Intimate Marriage by Jim
Burns Copyright © 2006, Published by Bethany House Publishers
Used by permission. Unauthorized duplication prohibited.
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