Hurting Marriage

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Love Hurts

There’s a well-known Roy Orbison song called “Love Hurts” that kicks off with these words: “Love hurts/love’s scars, love wounds and mars.”

While singer Roy Orbison was no marriage guru, his lyrics hit home. You feel pain when someone you love betrays or injures you. Certain actions or attitudes – unfaithfulness, selfishness, addiction — can wreak emotional and even physical wounds on a relationship that’s supposed to make you feel happy and safe. And when those wounds come from the person with whom you’ve joined yourself, heart and soul, in a covenant before God, the knife twists–and the pain increases.

The truth is, sometimes love hurts because we’re fallen creatures living in a fallen world. This broken world often hands us unwelcome trials –  a job loss, a miscarriage, a chronic illness, a child with special needs. But sometimes our own needy nature causes us to inflict pain on our spouse by succumbing to volcanic anger, abuse, or an addiction (pornography, alcohol, even television). Whether it’s done unwittingly or intentionally, we damage our marriage when we go MIA emotionally, fight, or react to conflict in passive-aggressive or narcissistic ways instead of ways that honor God and resolve problems.

When your spouse hurts you, your marriage is hurt. And when your marriage is hurt, you hurt. It’s as simple and as circular as that, like the wedding band you wear. But God can provide hope, help, and healing. Check out the following articles to help you when love hurts — and your marriage feels the pain.

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