Why did you marry your spouse - Discussion

agapelove · Newbie Joined: 23 Sep 2002 Posts: 13

Hi everyone,

I can't think of an answer when my finance asked me why I want to marry him. I was the one that used to ask this question a few months back and his answers is either he doesn't know or because he loves me, now it is my turn and I don't have a reason either except that I am looking forward to the next step in our relationship and I will love to spend the rest of my life with him because I love him too.

So, Can anyone please tell me why they married their spouses?

Agape

Janine · Posted: Fri Jan 03, 2003 9:22 am Post subject:

My mother picked him out for me. :tounge2:

Seriously, I knew he was worth having for a long time, but the way he gradually grew on my mind, as a wonderful contrast to the rather horrid other young men I knew, led me to ask him to marry me. :O

As for why he married me... I'll have to ask him when he comes home from work...

Bless him, he works hard for the family. I thank God for him. Even though I'd cheerfully strangle him sometimes. Only someone whom you love very, very deeply can irritate you that badly. That's my theory, anyway!

agapelove · Newbie Joined: 23 Sep 2002 Posts: 13

We had a discussion last night about this issue, (I brought it up) and we are talking about love and he said something that I had to take a very deep thought about, he said "what does love means in a relationship that is not marriage".....can anybody please explain this for me, does it mean the way you feel about each other or what exactly will you say that love is in a relationship that is not marriage?
thanks jan for responding to my post. That was so encouraging.

Agape

tanza · Full Member Joined: 30 Jul 2002 Posts: 76

great questions agape... especially prior to marraige!

you might think me completely unromantic and blah...but at the risk of being so let me continue... Very Happy

i think love, inside and outside of marraige, is a choice. the difference is, before you get married he/she is ALOT easier to love! you haven't really tested each others limits. irritated the snot out of each other. really bared your heart. seen each other at your most vulnerable. had a real fight. that kinda stuff.

does that mean your love is any less real before marraige? no way! just a little dilluted. like gold. the more you refine it...put it to the fire...the more precious and beautiful it becomes. but it's still gold! :inlove:

Wynne · Full Member Joined: 03 Dec 2002 Posts: 109 Location: USA

I concur, Tanza dear!

There is the agape love, the decision to work for the best for the beloved, no matter what...

There is the phileo, the "Philadelphia" love, the brotherly love, the best friends and good feelings love...

There is always eros love, as well, but that one is as appetizing and romantic as a 98 cent frozen "TV dinner"...
the meal becomes a rich banquet only when the other two loves are added...

Davep · Veteran Joined: 02 Apr 2002 Posts: 463

LOVE - the problem with this word is, it is a cop out, and over used. Try expressing your feeling towards one another without using the word Love. We have become lazy in expressing our feelings for one another, by using a word which is passed out like dollar bills. Without the word Love, some people would be stranded as to what to say; or worse how to say it.

Marriage is a long term committment to a relationship, Those who are not married just have a pay-as-you-go relationship.

webacus · Posted: Sat Jan 04, 2003 7:29 am Post subject:

Dave, well said.

Marriage is about serving, forgiveness and oneness. Marriage is about growth and discovery, hanging in there through sickness, unemployment, bankrupty and even death. Marriage is a partnership, growing together toward God.

Can I get an "Amen"? Or at least some NewsBoys lyrics? :tounge2:

Janine · Posted: Sat Jan 04, 2003 6:01 pm Post subject:

Amen!

Again with the Newsboys, Webby? I probably have 'em lying around on CD somewhere... Maybe I can rustle up some lyrics. I listen to mostly a cappella Christian music, though.

And my Mama really did select my husband, you guys! That may be why it took me so long to really see he was the one for me. I just couldn't bear the idea of obeying my Mama at that age...

tanza · Full Member Joined: 30 Jul 2002 Posts: 76

you guys are TOO much! lolololol :p

as for the newsboys... hmmmm... lemme see.... what would work here? there's the old petra "love is patient" but thats not the newsies... soooooo...

sorry webster i can only come up with the lyrics to newsboys new song thrive...

"will you lift me up with tender care... will you wash me clean in the palm of your hand... Lord hold me close so i can thrive... when you touch me thats when i know i'm alive!"

not sure how applicable it is but... its newsboys right?!

webacus · Posted: Sat Jan 04, 2003 11:09 pm Post subject:

Tanza, I don't think I've heard that one.

tanza · Full Member Joined: 30 Jul 2002 Posts: 76

its on thier new album... aptly named... Thrive Cool

djchuang · Newbie Joined: 18 Dec 2002 Posts: 2 Location: Bethesda, MD

I (male) married 7 years ago to my good woman friend, with whom I felt comfortable being with and talking with. At that time it was a friendship and a commitment - I simply wanted to have someone to love and give to, and she was receptive to my initiative. I'll admit that I have a fragile male ego and don't take rejection well, so wasn't one to have women fall over me. Smile

Now, by the grace of God and after numbers of interpersonal trials, our marriage has become a flowering love and desire.

www.djchuang.com

Janine · Posted: Tue Jan 07, 2003 6:07 pm Post subject:

:

:

That is, ideally, supposed to be a pattern in every marriage.

That is, the commitment, the covenant, of marriage, is like a trellis or a rose arbor, and the marriage is the rose vine growing over it.

Some seasons there's more building, more green growth, while the flowers kinda sleep.

Some seasons there's a wild profusion of vibrant roses exploding like slooooow fireworks all over the place. The blooms are made possible by the hidden growth and the "fertilizer" of honoring each other through the day-by-day, less-than-passionate times.

84-1043949293 · Guest

Hi everyone! I married my spouce becuase he's a man of faith. He encourages me to believe God even for the impossible things. That's one of the main things. Also, he speaks about godly things in almost everything he says. His speech is seasoned with grace (most of the time) and the praises of God are continually on his lips (most times I love to hear him talk). He touched my heart with his relationship with God and I had to have that in my life....th rest of the story is like most. He liked me, I eventually came around to liking him. He got hooked, I got hooked...in spite of family disapproval (they thought we were too young. He was 23 I was 22. Both of us fresh out of college), we decided life without each other was not for us. Our hearts were already entwined so the next step is marriage where it's lawful to cleave. I guess you could say that's another reason. We wanted to glorify God in our relationship and the best way to do that was to get married.
So far t's been a year and a half and we're both loving it. It's hard at times and we have disagreements and stuff, but God gets us through it all together.

Wynne · Full Member Joined: 03 Dec 2002 Posts: 109 Location: USA

:inlove: Amen, dear, that's the way!

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