What does it mean to have Christ at the center? - Christ-centered relationships

Janine · Posted: Fri Jun 14, 2002 5:38 am Post subject:

I'm probably just being too sensitive.

You are a well-spoken (well-written?) person, able to have a thought of your own. I'd be disappointed if you turned out to be one of those people who are so slavishly dedicated to some "man of God" that it amounts to him standing between you & God.

God bless you, sweetie. Smile

danielle · Full Member Joined: 19 Apr 2002 Posts: 232

I'm not sure what impression I am giving if I happen to mention the pastor in my posts nor do I understand what you mean by being "dedicated to some man of God" and him standing between me & God. Are you referring to my pastor?

Please do elaborate, thanks.

kelly · Posted: Fri Jun 14, 2002 8:15 am Post subject:

I can probably elaborate Danielle.

Sometimes people become caught up in what thier pastor has to say over what God has to say. It is easy to follow a man who is standing before you, speaking easily to you, and teaching you what you naively believe without doubt is the Word of God. Jason and I did this for a short time at our old church. Something wasn't settling right in my spirit though and I prayed on it. The Holy Spirit spoke clearly to me twice on this, both times saying, "He may be accountable to me for what he teaches you, but YOU are accountable to me for who you follow. I have given you the Truth, you are accountable for your own actions". This stirred me to really check out what our pastor was teaching with what the Word of God says. Turns out he was quite "off" in a few areas and we were being mis-lead. We left that church and have learned a lesson.

I think what Janine was saying is that you can't quote your pastor on everything. You need to know the bible. Your pastor is but a man. You need to trust in God, listen to God. Your pastor is there to help you along your way, but God is your primary teacher, counseler, guide...Don't necessarily believe evreything your told, check it out for yourself in the Word. :inlove:

danielle · Full Member Joined: 19 Apr 2002 Posts: 232

Hi Kelly,

Oh, ok. Now I understand better. Yes, I definitely agree. Try the spirit by the spirit, because yes, he is only a man. In fact our pastor always encourages the congregation to check the scriptures for themselves as the Bretheans (sp?) did with Paul. From what I have been studying so far, what my pastor has taught is in line with the Word. But I see where you are coming from now, and understand the vitalness of studying for ourselves.

"Don't follow anyone, unless they are following Jesus" is a motto I've stuck to for a very long time. Be it a friend, dating companion, pastor, etc. That is very true what you shared below in that revelation you mentioned. My mom is going through something now in her marriage, where she may be considering parting from her husband for a season, because he is being unscriptural. Doesn't want to be lead away from her 1st love--Christ! Sort of, choose this day whom you will serve scenario.

Thanks for clarifying!

Grace · Full Member Joined: 24 May 2001 Posts: 90 Location: IL.

wow, this topic sure has turned from having Christ at the center of your marriage. For my husband and I it looks different than for Kelly. We both love the Lord. We both love eachother. As we have grown in the Lord and together - married 15 yrs. Christians about that long- our relationship has changed. At first, we worried about all the things that you talk about. What if we don't grow at the same rate, what if he can't lead me, what if ..... We realized that God is in control. Once we found out what worked for us as a couple, with God in the center, our relationship took a huge turn. We are now comfortable with that little stuff. Our relationship has gone into another season. We love it. A great book that helped us is by Bill and Lynn Hybels. " Fit to Be Tied". This helped us to realize that we both came with our own ideas of what a marriage should look like. We had to make up our own mold for what our marriage was. The first priority that we chose is that God is in the center. I have to say that I am the partner who is like your bf. I am rebellious. God has had to work overtime with me. Not an easy task for anyone, especially my husband. He is conservative. I remember that when I was a baby Christian I actually said, "I don't need to read the Bible everyday." WHAT 'S UP WITH THAT???? My spiritual walk has changed a bit since then.
God has promised to complete a good work in me, and He will. I am growing by leaps and bounds everyday. One secret that I know is that God is in charge of my husband's spiritual growth, not me. What a huge burden that was lifted off my back when I realized that. We also are comitted to growing our marriage. Like your relationship with God
You are either moving toward God or away from Him. There is no fence, or rest. Same for your marriage. Rambling...Grace

SAM · Veteran Joined: 03 Mar 2001 Posts: 2053 Location: Chicago

How very true of my marriage too, Grace.
We have to get out of the way and let God do the work.
Our biggest conflicts come when one of us is standing firm and not putting on our servant clothes - geeze, such a reminder our Lord gives us at times.

It means both of us individually being committed to God, growing toward Him and both of us going to church together.
One of the biggest changes in us came when we were committed to being in a bible study with other couples. Our spiritual life and marriage grew in unbelievable ways. We became very close with one couple in the group who we still see after 13 years. There were people who challenged us, held us accountable and we were encouraged to memorize scripture. We still look back on that experience today as one of the biggest growth steps in our journey as Christians. We tell other couples getting married - do not do married life alone. You need to be committed to a community of fellow Christians - separately from weekly attendance at church. It means other people who you can do life with. People who will be there for you when the tough times come.

Another thing was serving together in ministry. We took a class to discover what our spiritual gifts were. We found a ministry where we could use our gifts together. This has centered Christ in our marriage more than ever before. We have seen Him work in unbelievable ways through us.

I think back to this past year where we did the Old Testament Challenge at church. One thing that really stuck with me was Moses. In Exodus 4:7 - Moses says, "O Lord, please send someone else to do it". And in Exodus 3:13, he says, "Who am I".

If God could use Moses, then he can use my husband and myself too.

I know I used to think having a Christ centered marriage meant reading the bible together everyday, praying everyday
and many other things inbetween. I have come to realize for my marriage in recent years that all He really asks of us is to serve Him and others everyday. Once we took that turn, once we were willing to give Him everything financially, relationally with others, and serve Him in ministry together -he has blessed us beyond our wildest dreams. He has brought people into our lives who are thirsty for His saving grace. Just leaving ourselves open and willing to wherever He wants to lead us, I feel God has said, " I am sitting where I should be in your relationship."

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