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danielle
Full Member
Joined: 19 Apr 2002
Posts: 232
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 Posted: Mon Jul 01, 2002 1:10 pm Post subject: |
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For those of you who know me I'm sure you know my present situation that I've been submitting a few posts about. And for those that don't----they've been pre-marriage questions since I'm approaching a possible engagement with my bf who I've been dating for 4 yrs (but have known for 10 yrs).
Well we've talked to the pastor by having 2 informal pre-engagment counseling sessions which were very helpful, and are currently giving each other some space to analyze & assess some things, etc.
I have God as 1st in my life, he doesn't. Not just yet, but is moving in that direction s.....l.....o.....w......l......y. The more he goes to church & the more he's learning about the Christian walk, he's seeing himself progress to where he will be able to put him first. That is the current situation.
So here's my question:
Should a person really wait for a prospective mate to place God as first in their live before marrying, or if God intends that mate for you should they ALREADY have him 1st?
I strongly desire that God have 1st place in my mates life, and I don't want to compromise that. I know we are all work-in-progress and that people do come into you life for different reasons. I've actually helped my bf grow closer to God since he did become saved when young, but then strayed away. He wants God as 1st in is life in order to be a good father & husband, and to love me the way I need to be loved. I always stress it needs to be HIS geniune desire though, and not doing it just for us. I'm trying to stay faithful, prayerful, and seeking God's will for me----I'm just getting really restless & impatient. Sometimes don't understand why it should take a person this long, but I know some of us have stronger wills than others and its ok to take baby steps.
I'd appreciate any feedback.  |
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Davep
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Joined: 02 Apr 2002
Posts: 463
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| Posted: Mon Jul 01, 2002 2:00 pm Post subject: |
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Danielle
It would be nice to be free from concern. A single christian man is concerned about the Lord's affairs, that is, how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world, that is how he can please his wife, accordingly his interests are divided. A single christian woman is concerned about the Lord's affairs, her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married women is concerned about the affairs of this world, or how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but rather that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord. - 1 CO 7:32-35 the total paragraph
Being married means our attentions will be divided, that our attentions and interest will be split, we are human. If God is truly number #1, then there can be no number #2. Nobody can put God #1 24/7, only Jesus did that, so how do we expect ourselves or others to do try to do the same. It is a goal which can never be reached, and our salvation thank God is not dependant on it.
Your BF is moving, that is all that matters. Man created the concept of time and speed. God never created time, nor was Jesus ever in a rush. Time is mention in the bible to mark different points in time. But time isn't a requirement for salvation. |
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danielle
Full Member
Joined: 19 Apr 2002
Posts: 232
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| Posted: Mon Jul 01, 2002 2:27 pm Post subject: |
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Hi Davep,
Oh, I definitely know we can't have God 1st 24/7---nearly impossible as long as we are in this flesh!
What I'm moreless saying is someone who has Christ at the center of their life. They are following Christ day-to-day. A true discipline of him. Having him and not self at the center....
Not that we all don't have selfish moments, but overall, someone who has Christ first, and relies, trusts & depends on him for everything.
Christ is NOT JUST their Savior, but also their Lord. |
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Davep
Veteran
Joined: 02 Apr 2002
Posts: 463
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| Posted: Mon Jul 01, 2002 2:47 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | someone who has Christ at the center of their life |
While we agree nobody can have Christ at the center of their life 24/7, but how little is acceptable in your mate? You see the problem, what is not enough? What is too much? How do you measure? You only measure what you see and can sense. Our faith in God doesn't even get that much. Should we be looking for people who are within what?, 50% or more of our Christ Centerness.
You can never measure someone's faith in Christ, or how much or how little Christ is operating in their lives. You can't even believe the person themselves, only God know were they really stand.
Does he have Christ-Like behaviors in how he deals with people? That's it, everything else is frosting on the cake. He can be very Christ-Centered without any of the normal Christian-Centered activities.
Are you looking for someone who is Christ-Like or Christian-Like? How many christians follow Christ in their actions, but not in spirit. Could someone still tell you are a christian, if you stopped reading the Bible, stopped going to church, and you remove the christian materials from your home, office, or car? I know you believe being a christian is more than all this, but how do you judge someone Christ-Centerness? |
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