father emotionally stifling teenager

jyates1992 · Newbie Joined: 09 Oct 2007 Posts: 4

My husband is constintly crrecting our son about the slightest things. It has gotten to the point over the years that our son now feels that he can do nothing right so why even try. His grades are falling because he doesn't try. Even 'B's" could be "A's". When I say something to my husband, he says that my son is "playing me like a fiddle". The boy needs to be taught responsibility. Can anybody give me a word or thought?

SAM · Veteran Joined: 03 Mar 2001 Posts: 2164 Location: Chicago

First, welcome. We're glad you've come to GT.

Because there is an obvious difference in parenting styles that you and your husband are not negotiating, it's time to consider family counseling.
Your son's future depends on it.

I know it helped my husband and I tremdously when our youngest daughter was going through some really tough times during her teen years.

She spent time alone with the counselor and time together with us. And my husband I spent some time together as a couple. It was helpful to us... and to her.

rdsmith3 · Veteran Joined: 04 Oct 2006 Posts: 391 Location: NJ

I agree with Sam that counseling would be a great idea and very helpful. If you give us a little more info we might be able to help you know where to get started.

How old is your son, and do you have other children? Are you and your husband able to resolve issues other than this one?

Do you attend a church?

jyates1992 · Newbie Joined: 09 Oct 2007 Posts: 4

Yes we are Christians, regurlarly attend and very devoted to our church. Our son is an only child and 14 years old. This is not a recent area of conflict. We now have the idea to agree and move on or not say anything.

babycakes · Veteran Joined: 06 Mar 2006 Posts: 315 Location: In Prayer

Welcome.

The teenage years are so difficult on the kids and us, as parents. Very Happy

Any extra wisdom and insight we can gain from a Christian counselor is well worth the money spent. You are already seeing the damage that disagreement is causing.

Proverbs 4:7
Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding.

jyates1992 · Newbie Joined: 09 Oct 2007 Posts: 4

yes these years are very difficult, but also very important in who he will grow to be. I don't want to look back and say "why didn't i do somrthing before this happened".

jyates1992 · Newbie Joined: 09 Oct 2007 Posts: 4

I've taken the advise and made an appointment with a family counceler. And ideas for me at the first visit? I don't want to be intimidated and waste the opportunity.

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