Simply Irresistible

greenwidow · Full Member Joined: 14 Aug 2006 Posts: 112

I am not sure why we have this forum, when we have one named Creative Affection, but I will start this out.

Make yourself simply irresistible. Think about every clue your partner gives you, to their needs and then meet them in the most simple of ways.

As a teacher going to school in the 80's I was taught that every human being has basic needs that need to be met, before the creature is comfortable, food, shelter, and safety are all key triggers to the sense of well-being. If an individual is satisfied at the most basic levels, things like sexual intimacy which is higher on the needs list, can be achieved easier.

The Hollywood stereotype of the poor, tragic lovers bound together for life by their undying passion is just so corny. It's hard to be romantic when you have had macaroni and cheese for the third night in a row or your 12 month old just puked in your hair.

Sex can boil down to two components, the sexual act and sexual intimacy. The sexual act is done by thousands of species of creatures without the need for intimacy. Intimacy and all that it implies is a higher order activity. Therefore, those wishing to be above the beast of the land must put a little more thinking into it.

Making your environment safe, calm, inviting is the first step to creating an environment that is conducive to intimacy. Reduce the noise, clear the clutter, and find uninterrupted time to woo.

Haste makes waste. Intimacy is built over time. Call or text your spouse at 10am and tell them you love them and were thinking of them...that's all, don't relay expectations or suggest there is anything else attached to your call than the need to talk to your beloved. Give your spouse time to think about how they are in your mind always.

Care for the physical needs of your spouse other than sex. A hand and arm massage (vanilla, mint, and coconut are gender neutral scents for hand cream) in the living room with even the kids there tells the spouse that you care for their well-being without wanting something in return. Children living in orphanages will deteriorate mentally without a comforting touch. Why would it be any different for your spouse.

Schedules for life are so tight, call your spouse and tell them that you have a few extra moments so you are going to do something on their to do list. Do it even if you have to squish something on your list. That means you have to be cognizant of what is on their to do list. That applies equally to both sexes.

Impromptu meetings outside your home with your spouse for lunch or just a walk show that your remember what it's like to date and want to be with someone even when you are cutting time out of your day to do so. Isn't it funny that so many affairs start this way. Have an affair with your spouse.

There is a Jimmy Buffet/Rupert Holmes song that was popular when I was younger called Escape, but most people know it as the Pina Colada song. I always knew the words, but didn't really know the meaning until this last year. There is something poignant in missing the desires and needs of our spouse when they are probably very close to our own, so we just both go on being frustrated and wanting something that is laying beside us that we just can't find.

It's just my opinion and yes, I do realize that there isn't one reference to the Bible here. Take it for what it is worth.

webacus · Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 10:24 am Post subject:

greenwidow, great post.

I think the difference in the Topic Categories is this:

Creative Romance: Dating, romantic ideas, date nights, fun

Sexual Intimacy: A little heavier content compared to the above--
sexual questions, the honeymoon night, what is permissible in a Christian marriage,
sexual issues, 'celebrating' sex, etc. More 'mature content' ...

A little overlap between the two topics, but... makes sense?

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