Prayer request

AandA · Newbie Joined: 30 May 2007 Posts: 9

I would like to request prayers for myself, my husband, & my marriage. Just very recently I confessed to my husband that I was emotionally unfaithful to him. As time went by more & more I began to realize how wrong this was & the guilt & shame of my wrong-doing became too much for me to deal with. I know it was so very hurtful to my husband. He said that he has forgiven me, but I just can't seem to forgive myself for what I've done. I have now decided that I truly want to put God first in my life & I have asked the same of my husband. I know the good Lord has forgiven me, and I know my husband has forgiven me. But the past few days I feel so empty & lost inside because of what I did. I'm trying to forgive myself & move forward...and be the wife I know God wants me to be. There's days still when I feel depressed, all I want to do is sleep, I can't eat very much. I've been opening up more to my husband now & talking to him about things, but I feel as if some things I just need to keep to myself & not talk about. I want to be close to God, I want to be close to by husband...I feel like I can't get there because of my wrongs.
Please say a prayer for me, my husband, & our marriage...that we grow closer. And that I find my way.

Thank you so mcuh & God bless you all[/quote]

SAM · Veteran Joined: 03 Mar 2001 Posts: 2041 Location: Chicago

Satan does a good job of bringing on the guilt and shame, doesn't he?

If you have gone to God and repented and asked Him for His forgiveness, it is done. It was done on the cross for you. It is over.

Each time you get these feelings of shame and guilt, then go to God and ask him - " Lord, please remove these feelings from me."

As for your emotional attachment to another man. You may be grieving this loss. Even though you know it was wrong and it was adultery of the heart, mind and eyes - you can still grieve and be depressed over it.

There is something that brought you to this place of emotional attachment to another man. Until you can explore this with a counselor and with your husband, then the there is great liklihood it will happen again. Please see a Christian counselor - you really need to sort through the emotional junk you are carrying.

Second, work on your realtionship with Christ. Is He everything to you? Do you talk with him and meet with Him daily? Are you filling your heart mind and soul with the word of God? Create an atmosphere in your office, your bedroom, your bathroom and your car with praise and worship music - keep it on always. And, do you have other sisters in Christ who you can talk with and will hold you accountable for your marriage? Gals that you can do life with. If not, find a woman's bible study where you can grow and connect to other women.

Lord, I lift this family and marriage up to you today. You know what they need to heal and I ask that you place resources and people in their lives who can walk with them through this time and for the future of their marriage.

webacus · Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 1:17 pm Post subject:

AandA · Newbie Joined: 30 May 2007 Posts: 9

Thank you so much for taking the time. I have come to realize now that my feelings of "depression" are not at all for the other guy because it had to end, or because I miss him or anything liek that. What happened between him & me was wrong. Because of what I did against God & my husband, I just still feel so ashamed, and upset with myself & hurt that I was emotionally unfaithful and caused my husband hurt. I have confessed to God, and to my husband...I know God has forgiven me, and my husband has said he forgives me. I just can't seem to forgive myself for what I did. I don't really have any friends at all. There is much I have to work on but I know the power of prayer. Thank you for your prayers.

webacus · Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 2:21 pm Post subject:

You might consider counseling or sharing with a trusted third party.
Sometimes just talking things out can be a big help.

And keep in mind that feeling down, or depression, can be
treated. Consider talking with your doctor.

AandA · Newbie Joined: 30 May 2007 Posts: 9

Thank you very much for your responses, advice, and words. I have opened up & talked with my husband about alot of this & what I've been feeling & going through, but actually opening up & really communicating is new to both of us. We've been married for 3 1/2 years now & only just recently have I tried to open up & communicate more. He hasn't really "opened up" much, but maybe its just not very easy for him. I wish there was a third party for both my husband & I that we trusted. We don't attend church although I know we should. When he's off from work he really just likes to be at home. We don't really have any friends at all. I'll have to try to look into the local churches & find a good women's group or something like that. I'm not sure if this is depression I'm trying to deal with, but its affecting me alot =/ With God all things are possible. Thanks so much, you guys, for you words & sharing.

webacus · Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 4:23 pm Post subject:

If you're shopping for a church, take a look here: http://www.growthtrac.com/church/looking.php

and here:
http://inside.growthtrac.com/inside/2005/11/got_church.html

A church can give you the relationships & resources
to build your marriage and help get things back on track.
It's something you need to do.

rdsmith3 · Veteran Joined: 04 Oct 2006 Posts: 367 Location: NJ

I said a prayer for you and your husband, that you would be filled with the Holy Spirit to strengthen you, that you would keep your focus on Jesus, and that you would not fall for Satan's distractions and deceptions.

There is no sin that is too great for the Lord to forgive. Remember that Peter denied Jesus three times, yet He still forgave Peter, and he asked him to lead His sheep. Jesus even cooked him breakfast on the beach.

I encourage you and your husband to get good Christian counseling to help improve communication. I am used to keeping things in, as are most men, and it can be hard for us to communicate well.

webacus · Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2007 8:52 am Post subject:

rd-- well said.

AandA · Newbie Joined: 30 May 2007 Posts: 9

God bless you guys, and thank you so much for your prayers & words. It has been about a week now. Slowly but surely, things are getting better, tho some things still a struggle. I would be lying if I said its been easy...it definately has not been easy, but for the first time in a very long time I feel the Lord in me giving me strength everyday. I never realized how far away from God I allowed myself to get & I now know & understand that sin does indeed separate us from God. I have completely ended all means of any contact with the person I had the emotional affair with. There are still times I feel so ashamed about it. And very upset still that I caused my husband hurt & pain. For the first time we will be attending church very soon & I'm looking forward to it. I'm really trying my best to look forward & not backwards. My husband has said that he has completely forgiven me & does not dwell on it anymore...and he has said he wishes I would do the same. I'm not dwelling or thinking of the person I had that emotional thing with, but I'm a bit worried my husband may not have "healed" completely & its just his way of trying to get over it by simply saying he has. I'm really trying to put it all completely behind me & move forward, tho I'm struggling with the future & what may come. I guess its pointless to worry about the future when tomorrow & the days after are not even here yet. I'm sorry if I'm just going on & on.

I wanted to say thank you to guys, for your words & prayers. It really helped me alot. God bless!

AandA · Newbie Joined: 30 May 2007 Posts: 9

About the Christian counseling, I was considering to still find some Christian counseling but I know we just don't have the money for it. I'm still trying to overcome the shame, the guilt, the anger at myself for the pain I caused my husband. It's something my husband doesn't want anyone to know about, neither do I unless its a very trusted someone...maybe a pastor...if we were to seek Christian counseling. I really feel even tho I'm slowly "healing" from what I did, and my husband says its something he doesn't think about or dwell on, we could still benefit from some good counceling. Just not sure if we can find someone we could trust enough =/ I just really worry about my husband, and if he's really let go the way he says he has.

rdsmith3 · Veteran Joined: 04 Oct 2006 Posts: 367 Location: NJ

If there is any way to get the counseling, it is vitally important. All of us tend to see things with our own biases. The benefit of Christian counseling is that we are given an objective standard (the Bible) and we are given help to apply it to our particular situation by someone who is not blinded as we are about our sins. I say this from painful personal experiences.

Some pastors and/or counselors at larger churches will do counseling for free or for a low fee if you explain your circumstances.

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