How many think I am over reacting??

lisap · Newbie Joined: 07 Dec 2006 Posts: 16

My husband and I went through alot last year. He has a drinking problem and it really got out of hand. He began running with a different group of people and he let them influence him in a very negative way. We separated for a few weeks around the holidays over this and he agreed that he would do better. He is what I like to call "borderlining" right now with the alcohol abuse. He still drinks, but he has found that he can get just enough of a buzz so that it angers me but not to the point of a separation again. Tonight he told me he would be home at a certain time. That time came and he was not home. This is typicle of how he would do me when he would go on a binge with his new buddies last year. 1 1/2 hours go by. I tried to call him several times, no answer. Finally I went looking for him and found him at one of those friends houses. He followed me home and earlier has insisted that I am the one with the problem. He said that I better not ever come looking for him again and that he did nothing wrong. He says he is a grown man and can do as he pleases. He had been drinking. So much that is jeans were unzipped from when he had gone to the mens room last. He was slurring words and staggering. Yes, I have seen him much, much worse. But I just can't believe that I am the one over reacting here. What does eveyone think?

wrm · Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2007 9:20 pm Post subject:

I don't think you are. Is he drinking and driving to? Shocked

lisap · Newbie Joined: 07 Dec 2006 Posts: 16

SAM · Veteran Joined: 03 Mar 2001 Posts: 2053 Location: Chicago

You are not over-reacting.
The natural course is to blame you.
It's time for serious intervention - AA or an alchohol treatment center.

For yourself, please consider going to an Al-Anon meeting. It will bring you clarity to your situation.

If he is drinking and driving - your loyalty is no longer to him. It belongs to those you need to protect on the road. A friend our our daughter's recently killed a man in a crash because he was drinking and driving.
He has no memory of it.

Here are some signs of alchoholism -

- Dependence on alcohol
- Excessive consumption of alcohol
- Low tolerance for anxiety
- Impairment in concentration
- Impairment of attention span and memory
- Inappropriate aggressive or sexual behavior
- Mood changes - happy to angry
- Impaired judgment
- Impaired social functioning
- Slurred speech
- Increased need for alcohol at the beginning of the day, or at times of stress.
- Insomnia; nightmares.
- Hangovers, and absences from school and work.
- Preoccupation with obtaining alcohol and hiding drinking from family and friends.
- Guilt or irritability when others suggest drinking is excessive.
- Blackouts; memory loss.

webacus · Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 8:48 am Post subject:

rdsmith3 · Veteran Joined: 04 Oct 2006 Posts: 368 Location: NJ

I agree completely with what Webacus says above. I am on vacation right now, and don't have time to write much, but I know from first hand experience that it is really a bad situation when you are married to an alcoholic who refuses to get help. You absolutely must set boundaries and not give in. Do not enable his behavior. I made that mistake for too many years.

webacus · Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2007 6:31 am Post subject:

rd-- what dedication! Enjoy your vacation!

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