CONFUSED

Marje70 · Newbie Joined: 31 Jan 2007 Posts: 6

It's been a few weeks since my last posting but I do have a quick questions.

My husband and I have been getting along so so. We are both trying to live with our troubles and get past the affair he had. He's been busy fixing the house as we needed more space and it was the reason for purchasing the place. What I am confused about is that after the affair came out and for a few months we were pretty sexually active but for the last 3 months we have had no type of sex at all. He indicates that he hasn't been feeling well or that he is tired but I am concern as he's 34 years old.

I have tried to approach him and be as sweet as possible and loving but still he rejects me. I ask him if he still sees this woman but he firmly says he is not and at least he is home every evening so I know he is not seeing her at night. I do not know how to handle this. How do I read into this as I have been reading how important it is for the wife to be there fore her husbands needs and I am giving my 100% to his needs but feel rejection from his part.

SAM · Veteran Joined: 03 Mar 2001 Posts: 2054 Location: Chicago

Sometimes stress is a factor. And... I'm sure you've already tried communicating with him but try the following, just in case -

- Honey, I miss being with you intimately.
- Honey, can we take a bath or shower together?
- Honey, can we plan a romantic weekend away?
- Honey, how about a kiss?
- Honey, how about a hug?
- Honey, can we hold hands?
- Honey, can we snuggle?

It can be really hard to our hubbies to talk about. But, talking is what we need to do.

Marje70 · Newbie Joined: 31 Jan 2007 Posts: 6

Oh I have done all of this. I have tried and I have also let him know how I feel and how he's made me feel lonly. All he does is hug me and that is it. I have expressed to him that I am concern that he is still seeing and being with the other woman but he always says don't worry, that is over.

Of course I am worried, especially since he has cheated on me and mantained a relationship for over a year. I have been very open with him about how I feel but he still doesn't change. When he was having his affair I felt SOOO LONLY and like a single parent and I am beginning to feel the same.

I don't want to live in denial as I did for the last year and a half. I do not think it is fair to my children or myself if we can not give eachother our full 100%. Am I wrong to think this way.

SAM · Veteran Joined: 03 Mar 2001 Posts: 2054 Location: Chicago

It's time to make an appointment to see a counselor or your pastor together. Or, to see the doctor together.

Lastly, he may be going through depression. It is not unusual for this to occur once the finality of the affair becomes a reality.

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