Wifes continued battle

recinva · Posted: Sat Dec 23, 2006 2:31 pm Post subject: Wifes continued battle

My wife continues to battle with "not wanting to try to fix our marriage".

1. We have both cheated, me in 2000, her this past July.
2. We are both christians but I have been backsliding for 20+ years
3. We are going to a christian counselor in Jan and have both been in seperate counseling for the past few months
I know I need to trust in God to work on her, that "I" can't do anything to make her stay. I can only follow Gods change in me and lift her up daily.

Please pray for us that she won't just quit but will regain her trust in God and that we will both be obedient to Him.

SAM · Veteran Joined: 03 Mar 2001 Posts: 2163 Location: Chicago

I'll be happy to continue to lift you up in prayer.

Counseling works - if the parties involved are willing to change.
The fact that you are both willing to go for counseling says something about commitment. Hang on to that tiny thread of commitment each day and trust God to do the rest.

How are you doing with finding other Christian men to do life with? Men that will hold you accountable for your marriage? Do you have some guys in your life that will do this?

recinva · Posted: Sat Dec 23, 2006 5:48 pm Post subject: SAM

We are both active in our church, I was faking for so long that now we seem to have changed places,,,I'm in tune with Him and she is not all there spiritually right now.

I have a great group of brothers that have been there for me and they keep me in line. SAM, I've just let her down so much that it's hard for her to really SEE that I have made a life change. I know that my actions will speak volumes and I just need to keep my sights on Him.

She is bipolar with more depressive than manic cycles and has mood swings often. I am hoping that this is a mood cycle but she seems so very detached. Intimacy is nil,,,even though it has only been a week since our last intimate time,,,she seems to have made a swing back the other direction.

Our story is long and rocky....I'd like to share it with you sometime.

Rich

recinva · Posted: Wed Jan 03, 2007 5:22 am Post subject: Today is the day

We go to counseling at noon ET today. Please pray for us that God will open the eyes of our hearts. Pray that we will both go in with a "What can I change about me" attitude.

Just pray that Gods hand will move and we will both begin to see what he wants us to do.

SAM · Veteran Joined: 03 Mar 2001 Posts: 2163 Location: Chicago

I have lifted you up in prayer this morning. I've asked God to open ears and soften hearts that you can come together with understanding of each of your rolls in the breakdown of your marriage. That your hearts will be open to the suggestions of the counselor and that God's healing will take place.

recinva · Posted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 5:53 pm Post subject: Update

Well, my wife told me last night that she needed some space and needed seperation. She asked me that if she promised to not file for divorce for two months, could she take our girls with her to her mom and dads in Arkansas. I said yes. They are leaving Monday so that I can take them to church with me Sunday, she told me she can't go back to our church anymore. That hurt me deeply because our church has been so supportive of us through my deployments, our lost child (24 weeks) and they are just some good, loving, caring people.

SAM, she's running from God and running from whatever her problem is. She told me yesterday morning that she felt in heart that divorce was the right thing to do. I had told her flatly that she was in open rebellion against Him. I asked her if she prayed about it and that was what God has revealed to her and she said yes. This is NOT true and is a lie. God will not contradict himself and he doesn't tear down families....Satan does.

My faith is in God. I can only turn her and my girls over to him. The decision for them to go with her is the right one I think. If I had said no, then I figure she would have just left when I was at work or on duty.
They will be living with her mom and dad, he is a preacher/pastor and my parents and sister live in the same town.

Oh SAM, I am hurting and my heart breaks for my girls. I know God will never leave my side and I have faith that he can change her heart and heal our marriage. I just pray that she will be still and listen to him. She is not in a good place emotionally right now.

SAM · Veteran Joined: 03 Mar 2001 Posts: 2163 Location: Chicago

How are things going??

recinva · Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2007 8:14 pm Post subject:

My wife told me yesterday that she is not coming back from her parents. I know that her plan is to wait for 60 days and file for divorce. She is back talking to people on the net that are not good for her spiritually including one that she had an emotional affair with. Please continue to pray for God to soften her heart and that she would turn back to Him and that He would bring restoration to our family. I am also praying that if indeed she is not saved that she will seek salvation. I, of course, need your prayers for strength, faith and that I will focus on God and trust Him and wait for Him

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