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LittleAudrey
Newbie
Joined: 22 Dec 2006
Posts: 7
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 Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2007 6:30 pm Post subject: taking separate vacations... |
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ok...
I am a distrusting person as it is...but
My husband and a friend of his (one that I do not like he is very crude and not so focused on avoiding bad situations) went on a 4-wheeling trip to West Virgina last year (kinda sprung it on me)
I was furious - still am!
They are planning the same trip for this year also - not happy with this at all!
- so what do I do?
With everything else going wrong with this marriage (read my other post if you'd like) I am not sure... |
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babycakes
Veteran
Joined: 06 Mar 2006
Posts: 314
Location: In Prayer
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| Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 7:01 am Post subject: |
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As for separate vacations - many couples do it. My husband has gone on fishing with his buddies. Many guys do this with their friends including camping, or boating, or four-wheeling. Each couple has to negotiate this.
We no longer take separate vacations. But, if he said he would like to do this again, I would have no objection to it.
His choice of friends seems to be more the issue and that he's going off and enjoying himself without you.
There are more serious issues to deal with that this one in your marriage. Also, that you are still hanging on to your anger after a year is a concern.
Why can't you let it go? My guess is, it's because of the other things you're not dealing with in your marriage. It's all bottled up and boiling over. |
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LittleAudrey
Newbie
Joined: 22 Dec 2006
Posts: 7
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| Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 10:49 am Post subject: why?... |
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| My husband has informed me that he will not promise not to go to strip clubs and the like - because "he might go" - he's gone before and then lied about it so I'm not sure I can ever believe that he has been faithful. which is why I am still mad - I am bitter and I guess I am probobly over reacting I just am afraid to trust and then feel like a fool when I found out he's done something. |
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SAM
Veteran
Joined: 03 Mar 2001
Posts: 2041
Location: Chicago
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| Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 12:35 pm Post subject: |
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And this is OK? Going to strip clubs is not acceptable for any marriage.
You're obviously hurt and angry.
The issue of mistrust stems from this and his looking at pornograhy. This is the real issue - everything else that is stemming out from this problem in secondary.
He has to be willing to seek help for this addiction. If not, then you have your answer on the steps you need to take toward separation. Nothing will ever heal in your marriage, until this addiction is dealt with. |
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