In Need of Some Wisdom and Support...

heartforchrist · Newbie Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 1

Hi Guys,

This is my first ever post, but I have read several of the other posts and have been deeply touched by the witness of many of you. I thank you in advance for your wisdom, support, and prayer. So I'll get right to what I'd like to share.

My boyfriend and I are both Christians, however we started out with God not being at the forefront of our relationship and we suffered in many ways because of that. We've been together going on four years, having met when we were 22 and 23, and so I think a lot of our trials have been also because were young and selfish and not fully committed to serving Christ. Fast forward to now. God has shown us time and time again that His hand is on our relatioship. His grace has been such a testimony for us because Lord knows we have not deserved any of it. But God continues to not only bless our relationship, but bless us individually, and God has even blessed us to bless our families. Thanks to my boyfriend, we were able to successfully get three of my siblings into college at the same time -- I know without him this would have been nearly impossible.

After working through a major trust violation between us that took almost a year for me to move past, I began to see this man as my husband and he initiated talks of marriage. We knew we still had a ways to go and that God was working with us little by little to prepare us for it. Well, then we reached another major crossroads, my boyfriend was offered a job opportunity in another state, an opportunity that we couldn't let him pass up. God works in mysterious ways. I wouldn't be able to go with him because only a few months before I was accepted into a graduate program and quitting wasn't an option. Please note that I hadn't even planned on ever going to graduate school. And note this program was a brand new program that hadn't even existed before in my state. It seemed that God was at work here.

It's been several months since we've been apart. Our feelings for one another haven't changed, only grown stronger. We still are planning marriage -- the end of next year. But lately I've been struggling. I feel that life without him is unbearable almost. I'm lost a lot and I despise these feelings because I know this is wrong. I should be using my time alone for reflection and for drawing closer to the Lord. But I also feel that my boyfriend doesn't provide the comfort I need to get through this with him. We're not having the holidays together which I know is responsible for a lot of these feelings. I am so tired and I feel like giving up. I'm experiencing a lot of doubt. For the record, my bf and I have great communication and we've talked about this often and we pray together regularly and we have support from Christian friends and couples. We even have a friend whose fiance also lives in another state so we get a lot of postive support for managing this distance thing from them as well.

I'm not exactly sure what I need from God or from my bf, but I'm slipping into dispair and I find myself not sleeping and up praying and trying to read Christian books and watch Christian programming. I'm just sad I guess. Any encouragement would really be appreciated. Sorry for sounding so negative. I'm trying really hard to smile and be postive and certainly recognize that this will be a testimony down the line whether we get married or not. Siggghhhh...anyways thanks for listening.

ashtray · Newbie Joined: 20 Dec 2006 Posts: 1

u r suffereing from the seperation with your bf, it is normal, just try to find something u enjoy or have interest , and dwell into it, should not everyday only thinking of your bf.

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