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greenwidow
Full Member
Joined: 14 Aug 2006
Posts: 112
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 Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 8:05 pm Post subject: No forum for men |
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Yesterday, I talked to my husband about the fact that there is no forum for men about discussing the problems that had arose and he told me, that is because men feel no reason to discuss this. It has happened and they want it to evaporate as soon as possible, especially, if they feel guilty and still love their wives. They want the hurt to be over and to have "normal" again. He also said that most men don't have the driving need to investigate things and find out why. He included those men that were cheated on by their wives.
We had talked about writing things down for others and he quite simply said that men wouldn't spend time reading material on relationships. He related how he only read enough of chapters to fake his way through the material, for what he knew would be a barrage of questions from me. I thought this insight might help some of you dealing with communication.
Men and women think very differently. Don't waste a lot of energy on wondering why your spouse isn't communicating in your perferred manner. Love them for what they are able to give you. Think about it from their perspective and put them on the defensive by giving back in a manner they will understand. Love them silently, but with passion. Disequalibrium is a tool of education. |
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SAM
Veteran
Joined: 03 Mar 2001
Posts: 1950
Location: Chicago
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| Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 8:24 pm Post subject: |
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We have men jump in quite often on the Gt forums so this is not just a place for women. Have your hubby join in if he so desires.
You've made some great observations which I have found to be very common. I honestly believe it has a lot to do with sin and not how God intentionally wired up our brains - relationally and emotionally. Personally, I am not a big fan of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.
I think your hubby is pretty dead on it many respects. Just because guys are that way according to him, doesn't mean they have to stay that way. If he thinks about how Jesus interacted with women and relationally with people, there might be a few things to learn and consider changing about himself. 
We have our differences, you bet. Instead of them being obstacles, we can come to an understanding that God never intended for us to be clones. He made each one of us as different as the stars in the sky or a snowflake - uniquely created and uniquely loved. |
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