findingtheway
Full Member
Joined: 28 Nov 2005
Posts: 150
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 Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 1:37 pm Post subject: Needing some advice PLEASE |
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| My H and I have had a good marriage except the last 1 &1/2 yrs has been a little rough, death in family, H is disabled. Just alot of emotions. I don't know why but I have been struggling with my H past (we have been M 16 yrs & dated 5 before we got married). I believe he lied and cheated on me during our dating years, we were very young, I was 16 he was 18. I was a christian he was not at the time. He has always denied this and I have never been able to prove it. I did know he had several sexual partners which also bothered me. I knew these thoughts were there before we got married because I broke up with him for almost a year because of all this. I did believe he changed, he became a christian and we got back together and got married. Although he has never followed a solid road since becoming a christian he did change, I have never suspected an affair during our marriage, except in the first year. One time. But nothing in his time or behaviour/actions and no evidence to prove it. I don't know why all of a sudden I keep thinking back to these times, I try to remember that IF he did he has been forgiven by Jesus & I need to do the same, I obviously knew this coming into my Marriage. He has always been a good H and father. I don't know if I'm thinking about all of it is due to all the emotional times we have been through om the last year and half? Is it wrong for me to bring up the past when everything now is ok? He usually is patient and reassures me nothing happened and that he is sorry about his past and if he could change it or do it over he would. Do I just let it go?Any advice would be great. It has been (I have) been putting a strain on the marriage. Thanks any advice would be great. |
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babycakes
Veteran
Joined: 06 Mar 2006
Posts: 314
Location: In Prayer
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| Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 2:19 pm Post subject: |
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Honey, if he were the the one who kept bringing up your past and putting it in your face, how would you feel? It's why God gave us the words grace and forgiveness. I know sometimes stress can do strange things to the body and the brain. But, it's important to look forward and not backward. This can tear apart what appears to be a pretty good marriage from your description.
If you can't let this go, then it's time to meet with your pastor or a counselor. |
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