Would you give back the wedding rings?

Pray4Salvation · Newbie Joined: 26 Apr 2006 Posts: 4

Okay, this is my 3rd post. Help if you can. As you know from my other postings, my 2 month old marriage is coming to an end already even before it gets started. My husband in a fit of rage (as always) says "I don't want to be married to you!!!" every time that I do something wrong (wrong in his eyes). So this time (time #5) instead of asking him to forgive me and crying and saying "Baby we can work this out!!" I said okay fine, you want to go...GO! because I know that I am a good woman and I don't deserve to be treated like Monday's garbage, just throwing me out when you feel like it.

He has taken my car away that he gave to me on March 10th. He's a controlling man that see's no wrong in his actions but everything that I do is wrong. I have read the profile of an abuser and he is indeed just that. He hasn't put his hands on me YET so I know that this is a blessing that I can leave now before someone gets hurt.

Well my wedding rings were $3,000 he wants the rings back because he said they aren't paid for. He put them on a credit card....BUT he allowed me to believe that he paid cash for them. But now that we are parting ways he wants them back because he owes a lot of money on them and the car. I was cool and let the car go.

So he wants not only his car back but the rings also. The rings are absolutly beautiful by the way. I picked out my wedding rings. I still have them. Part of me wants to just give him everything back that he gave me but then the other part says no! He came into my life and disrupted everything, now he is leaving me high and dry and has the gall to ask for the rings back. I feel that I should be able to do what I want with the rings, he gave them to me so why should I have to give them back?????

And also he says that he isn't going to file for divorce because he doesn't have any money for it so I just have to stay married to this man until I take it upon myself to spend money that I don't have and file for divorce. So he wants rings back without even filing for divorce.

My mother of course says just to give him all the crap back and call it a day. I allowed him to change so much about me and I have lost almost all of my friends and I have alienated my family (thankfully they are still there for me) and now he wants to take my rings too! It's just not fair.

Would you give the rings back??

CMcC · Full Member Joined: 23 Mar 2006 Posts: 53

First of all, I want to tell you how happy I am that you recognize his behavior as abuse! But what makes me even happier is that you're deciding to quickly get away!!

Now, have you considered annulment? One of the grounds for termination of a marriage is if you were forced into the marriage. I think each state is a little different, but here is some information I found:
http://www.saccourt.com/family/divorce/divorce.asp

I don't know if I would keep the rings or not. I definately wouldn't keep the rings if I got an annulment. A divorce....I might keep them and resale them to pay for the legal cost. But that's just me.

I'm praying for you. Keep us updated. (((HUGS)))

webacus · Posted: Mon May 01, 2006 10:32 am Post subject:

I second that. I applaud your courage for leaving this
abusive man.

I don't see sense in keeping the rings. However, they are
your property. You can do with them what you want.

I agree with CmcC: sell the rings to cover your legal costs
and as a downpayment on a car.

SAM · Veteran Joined: 03 Mar 2001 Posts: 1990 Location: Chicago

Please let us know how things are going. God is there walking right beside you - he has not left you and will continue to be the husband you desire when your earthly husband has failed you.

The important thing is you have come to recognize the signs of an abuser/controller. Please give yourself time to heal and seek counseling through the church or a non-profit organization which will help you see things clearly. Do not enter into another relationship for at least another year or more. Work on you and your relationship with God.

As for the rings, they were a gift to you as part of your engagement and marriage. They are yours to keep.

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