My Fat Spouse

superman · Newbie Joined: 26 Apr 2006 Posts: 1

How come no one is allowed to discuss the fact that their spouse maybe overweight, and it's disrespectful to become obese when you partner keeps their shape?

SAM · Veteran Joined: 03 Mar 2001 Posts: 1989 Location: Chicago

Let's talk about the fact that many of us are overweight. I've been through thick and thin. And, it still is a constant struggle. Stuffing my face is not the only contribution to trying to control my weight. For many, there are other factors. Yes, scripture tells us our bodies are a vessel, I'm well aware of that, as are many. But a vessel can still be used in many forms, shapes and sizes for use in God's kingdom.

I'm grateful that I have a husband who has loved me no matter how much I weigh. He tells me I am beautiful every day. He hugs me, he kisses me and still desires me.

What would really be hurtful would be a spouse who tells me I am fat, a slob, or a lazy butt. A spouse who criticizes how I look, what I wear and asks me why I am putting something in my mouth. We're not all perfect and we don't look like what's in the magazines - that's pretty unrealistic.

We can take care of ourselves, we can exercise - and I do. I dress nice, I wear makeup and I wear nice clothes. I do not look like the front of a fashion magazine and I'm sure you don't either.

We are told to honor, love and cherish in our marriage vows. Badgering your spouse about their weight, ridiculing them and making them feel less than loved, quite frankly is verbal abuse and more than likely is contributing to their low self esteem and weight gain.

CMcC · Full Member Joined: 23 Mar 2006 Posts: 53

Why is it disrespectful for the spouse to be overweight??? Each person is unique. Just because your a couple doesn't mean you automatically share the same likes/dislikes, beliefs, etc. Each individual is ultimatly responsible for taking care of their physical body. It's the spouses job to be [u]respectful[/u] and [u]encouraging[/u]. That doesn't mean to look the other way when there is a problem. However tearing a person apart because of their weight or lack of is also a bad idea....and in my opinion, [u]most disrespectful[/u]! Discussing weight is a personal issue...and it should be discussed as such. Be encouraging and loving, then you'll find respect. My hubby puts himself down all the time because he is overweight. I never deny the fact that he's overweight. I tell him I still love him. He's still the same guy I married 10 years ago. If he wants to loose weight and get back into shape, I'd be happy to join him. (3 kids later I'm the same weight-around 105 lb- it's just in different places.... I have a hard time believing I still look good to him since I've had 3 kids and breastfed all of them! But he's very loving and encouraging even though my body has changed alot in the last 10 years.) I would never riddicule him for his weight gain, it would crush his already low self-esteem...that certainly won't help him loose weight any faster. I hope you encourage, support, and love your spouse no matter what their weight or shape is.

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