how do i talk to my husband

Ginny · Newbie Joined: 19 Apr 2006 Posts: 6 Location: nc

Every time we have an issue or problem come up and i am worried about it and i want to talk i will ask him when can we talk about...such and such... he will either say .........well talk now... or he will say if its a past issue..."whats there to talk about."
and when every i do talk to him about anything its usually me talking and he will answer me with questions.... his way of avoiding the real question. Are there any tactful ways of getting him to talk to me?
he's not really a full christian he doesn't go to church and when ever i want to pray he mocks me becuase he is not a full believer. please help me.

babycakes · Veteran Joined: 06 Mar 2006 Posts: 312 Location: In Prayer

Unfortunately, it appears your husband doesn't want to communicate. It's important to let him know that you need to talk about things and get his opinion and advice. Old issues may have never been resolved? My deal with my husband, is they get resolved now, or they don't get brought up again. We used to go around in circles over unresolved issues. What is in the past stays in the past, and we look toward the future. An annual marriage seminar has always been a great way for us to reconnect and work through our marriage stuff.

As for your hubby not being a "full" Christian, well he either is one or he isn't one. At some moment in his life he must make a decision to give his life to Christ.. and if he mocks you when you pray, well I think that pretty means he is not one. That spiritual difference in your marriage is what can cause a great deal of friction between you at all levels of intimacy in your marriage.

webacus · Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2006 5:20 pm Post subject:

Hi Ginny

Babycakes makes some good points.

What you describe is typical of husband-wife
communication differences. Plus, you want to
relate on a spiritual level.

Would your husband be open to counseling?

Ginny · Newbie Joined: 19 Apr 2006 Posts: 6 Location: nc

we have tried counseling several times and he has walked out or just not really participated i even went a year alone after he wouldn't come but it doesnt help if he is unwilling ot change anything about himself he puts it all on me.

babycakes · Veteran Joined: 06 Mar 2006 Posts: 312 Location: In Prayer

Have you ever read "Power of a Praying Wife?

You're right, you cannot change your husband and you can't make him participate. But, you can change an attitude - show him what Jesus is like everyday and shower your hubby with His love in any way you can.
Not the easiest thing to do, but how else can he even comprehend the love Christ has for him??

marasdac · Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 3:55 pm Post subject:

as a man, i too fall into the trap of silence. wrongly i justify that not saying something is better than saying something i'll regret.

i know now, that to validate my bride, i must be willing to sit down, look eye to eye, and listen. not always easy though.

perhaps your hubby has never been born again, maybe he is what i call
"pregnant with JESUS". if this is true, then prayer, your own attitude, and the way you conduct yourself are the ONLY TRUE METHODS TO USE.

i believe most men just don't get it. most of us never had a model,mentor, or good example to follow. thus we wing it. and crash often.

worship our father in heaven, with and without words... don't miss what GOD may be doing in YOUR life thru your hubby's stubbornness Crying or Very sad

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