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Jufer · Newbie Joined: 12 Feb 2006 Posts: 1 Location: Wyoming

If you are absolutely sure about this, and you really want your dad to turn away from his sin, I will give you my humble advice based on experience and scripture. THere is a verse in Luke 20:18, "All who stumble over that stone will be broken to pieces, and it will crush anyone on whom it falls."

This verse in Luke basically means, either fall on The Rock (Christ) in repentance and brokenness over your sin, or He will fall on you and you will be crushed and broken even worse. Especially for people in leadership, if they break themselves over their sin, God will go a bit easier on them. But if they resist and He has to do it, it will be much more painful and messy.

I had an affair many years back and the best thing (seemed like the worst thing at the time) that could have happened to me was part B--I was crushed because I refused to repent on my own, even though God kept pursuing me. My sin was exposed to just about everyone and I lost all ministry, friends, my husband, and even my home for a time.

The VERY BEST thing that could happen to your dad is to be exposed spiritually. Pray about this and find 2-3 godly men that you believe are genuine, tell them and ask them to confront your dad with the evidence. There should be strong evidence so that your dad can't lie his way out. The men you choose should have total confidence in what you are telling them before they confront him. But he must be caught in his sin or his pride and hard heart will only grow worse. Being caught in your sin is often the catalyst that brings about repentance. It is in God's great love for us that He stops us and disciplines us.

Lastly, be prepared. It will be necessary that your dad step down from the ministry for a time with public confession before he can be restored. There is a lot of work that God must do in his life to renew and redeem his past. He has broken trust not only with God and your mom, but all of his church members. Hopefully in losing his place in ministry and having to face what he has done with your mom and all the people he has hurt, he will want to turn away from his sin. But there are no guarantees.

He must be confronted and your mom must be let in on the information. THere is absolutely no way a sin like this can be covered up in order for healing to take place. Psalm says that God desires honesty in the deepest parts.

I know it is hard to think of confronting your dad, but I hope you will understand that in the long run, you will hopefully be saving your dad from the lies that Satan wants to ruin his life (and your families) with.

webacus · Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2006 11:32 am Post subject:

Jufer
I agree, except... Biblically (Matthew 18:15-17) londamac
should confront her father alone (directly) first.
(You need to give him an opportunity to respond one-on-one,
without involving anyone else.)

Hopefully, he will respond. If not, then he should be
confronted again by you and two additional people.

1. Go privately to him and discuss.
2. If he doesn't respond, involve two or three additional people.
3. If he doesn't respond, take the issue to the church (leadership, elders)

Obviously, this is a very senitive issue; the process needs
to be thought through carefully.

londamac, do you know someone you can trust with
this information? A Godly person you can rely on for advice?

SAM · Veteran Joined: 03 Mar 2001 Posts: 1991 Location: Chicago

I agree go to your dad and talk with him about your knowledge of the affair. This does need to be done in private first.

1) His reaction will show you exactly where his heart is
2) Watch for his denial of the affair
3) Watch for anger
4) Watch for a heart that wants to seek forgiveness
5) Watch to see if he is willing to tell your mother
6) Watch to see if he is willing to tell the elders of the church

If you do not see a repentant heart and where is he willing to expose his sin, then you know what the next steps need to be.

1) Your mom needs to know
2) The elders of the church need to know (and they will need to be present to bring their knowledge before your father.)

Be 100% sure of this affair - there can be no doubt that it is occurring.

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