Feeling lost....

cracked pot · Newbie Joined: 28 Nov 2005 Posts: 4

Hi, i'll keep this short, been married 6 months to a christian. 3 months into marriage he decides he doesn't believe anymore, mainly because of some tough times in our relationship right now. However I feel lost, i married this person thinking i was entering into a Christ centered marriage and now I can't even talk about it anymore. I feel like I'm spinning in circles. I intend to live my life being held accountable to scripture, yet what can I hold him accountable to - nothing. I feel like I no longer have a leg to stand on, like we're playing the same game by different rules. How on earth do I live with a non-believer. I know there is lots of people who do, but my life was banked on being in a christian marriage - and now what. Any thoughts would be helpful - as I am in complete confusion right now.
Thanks

SAM · Veteran Joined: 03 Mar 2001 Posts: 2161 Location: Chicago

How long had your husband said he was a believer? Often times, a new believer feels God should take all of my cares and troubles away and when He doesn't, they place all the anger on God for what is happening. What really helps is being surrounded by a community of fellow Christians (church and group) or a mentor couple who can walk you through this. Even Christian counseling is a consideration. As newlyweds, many couples forget to take this step in helping them through their early years of marriage.

A really great book that covers Spiritual Mismatch is written by Lee and Leslie Strobel called, "How to Survive a Spiritual Mismatch in Marriage."

I was in this place with my husband many years ago and it was not fun.
What I found is I had to live my life with him, caring for him and loving him as Jesus would. If I wasn't reflecting Jesus back in the mirror, then how could my husband come to love him as much as I did? Work on keeping yourself strong spiritually. Go to church, be involved in a woman's bible study, etc. Don't let your love of God diminish in the process of this struggle.

This is a lifetime commitment - no matter where the journey takes us.

campieswife · Newbie Joined: 03 Jan 2006 Posts: 1

dear cracked pot, I am new here but I read your message and I would like to encourage you. First Peter chapter 3 says that ou husbands can be won over by our actions rather than our words but they can also be turned off by our actions if our actions are cold. Make no mistake about this; there is an enemy that wants to ruin your marriage. Don't you let him! You can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens you(Phillippians 4:13). Keep humbling yourself to the Lord every day for strength and the LOVE that you need to get your husband through this. If he has fallen away from the Lord he needs to be covered in prayer and to feel the warm love of Christ that you have as a child of God.Your husband is hurting right now and needs you even though it may not seem that way. Take hope in the Lord! He was not caught by surprise at this turn of events in your marriage and He will take you step by step in getting through this and reviving life AND godliness to your marriage;afterall He created marriage and everything He created IS good.

webacus · Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2006 8:21 am Post subject:

campieswife, welcome-- and well said.

cracked pot: there are articles on this topic
located here:

http://www.growthtrac.com/artman/topics/31.php

marzettejohnson · Posted: Wed Jan 04, 2006 4:57 pm Post subject: Re: Feeling lost....

I hope you have read the book that Sam recommended. I am reading it now, and it is very helpful.

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