This information is alot to bear. I will pray for your family Tapper. Also, Grace posted something on the marriage forum that really makes alot of sense. If this "addiction" isn't under his discipline, nothing will help. I think that with the help of the Lord, your husband needs to make his own effort, and lean on the Lord. It is a minute by minute day! Just like A.A. It takes so much love to love him through it. God luck,
Growing in Christ, Patty
The moral of my story is that sometimes you get to a point where things just aren't changing. How do you know... I mean really[U][/U]know that you've reached that point, and you're not acting just out of self pity and selfishness?
Tapper28,
When you get to that point, you will know - there will be no indecision, you will just know - period.
Pray to God, and read the bible everytime you can. Being in daily communion with God, or being in his presence helps you endure things like this, but also makes you stronger. Don't wait to pray or read the bible only once a day. During this times, you can depend on God to lead you right, to show you what to do.
Also, fast. Take a day to fast and in times for meals, pray. Fast and go without solid food in the morning and lunch time - but eat at dinner - or after dark.
Joined: 14 Oct 2002 Posts: 38 Location: pennsylvania
Posted: Sun Dec 21, 2003 1:38 pm Post subject:
kelly... new info on one of your questions... you asked what this was doing to my kids.....
well.... a few months ago, there were sexual indecency charges filed against my husband involving my daughter... i hate to believe that he is capable of doing such a thing... but at he same time, (being a victim of sexual molestation and NOT believed as a child), i can not NOT believe that there is some validity to what she says happened.
i made it to tat point where
Quote:
there will be no indecision, you will just know - period.
Quote:
and made him move out.
however, several months later, doubted my decision, and let him come home.... things were ok for about 2 weeks.... then went from ok to worse than ever..... i have filed for a divorce and signed my papers.... after papers were signed, he decided it was time to make a move.... is admitting himself to pure life ministries right after Christmas.... but it may be too late... im not sure if i can play his games anymore... and he still wont really open up and talk....
If there is the slightest hint in your heart that this may be true, then he does not belong in your home. Your daughter would not lie about this. Pornography may not be the only addiction here, but sexual addiction too.
Glad to here he is moving on with more serious help, but you do what God and your heart is telling you to do.
Sam is right on target! - Your daughter is a warning
He's been better; things are were OK for several weeks.
The problem is when he comes back, he's on guard. He has to hide things better, and watch his actions in front of you. These are only false changes, there has been no real change of the heart or mind, you need to see real change over many months, not after several weeks.
Going into treatment is great for him; but is he doing it for himself, or his he doing it for appearances? Is he doing it so that you just might stop or slow down the divorce process?
Joined: 14 Oct 2002 Posts: 38 Location: pennsylvania
Posted: Fri Dec 26, 2003 1:18 pm Post subject:
To be honest, most times, i believe this is all for appearances. At times, though, I think it may be sincere, soul searching, life changing. I wish I knew. He has always been good at hiding things and playing games, so will I ever know for sure???????? All I know is that it's not fair of him to ask me to hang on, to keep going through all this. He has no clue how hard this is on me, or my kids. Anyway, thanks for listening.. its nice to know you all are here.
Your Husband needs to work on a relationship with himself and God before he can have an honest relationship with you at some point in the future, not the present.
Like children who want something they know how to work the emotions of the person they what something from. They are born actors and lieing is simply a skills set to acquire what they want. Their other secret weapon is to give the other person the appearance of hope. The problem is they cannot give Hope.
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