Janine
Veteran
Joined: 08 May 2002
Posts: 360
Location: South Louisiana
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 Posted: Fri Jan 17, 2003 11:18 am Post subject: |
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Think with me for a moment about a situation a battered wife sometimes finds herself in:
There seems to be a cycle of abuse, for many of these women; an episode of explosive abuse followed by a "honeymoon" of sweet attention, then a time of quiet gradually escalating to the next explosion.
Can you understand the way some women might, even without realizing they're doing it, try to push the irrational abuser's "hot buttons" to provoke the explosion before it reaches its full potential for harm?
Like, if the inevitable coming explosion would ruin the planned holiday with relatives; or, if waiting would give the abuser more "ammunition", because a bill he hates to receive is due in a few days... it might make more sense, in a strategic way, to get it "over with" now. A lower-level explosion might seem more manageable, less likely to injure the kids, etc., than the natural explosion later on.
Even outside of the "cycle", this same dynamic of a "controlled burn", a "backfire", like they use to fight forest fires, might give a woman, who is feeling increasingly powerless, a taste of something that feels like control.
Any thoughts on this? Sorry it took so many words to explain one simple concept...
How does the Christian woman suffering abuse (or even one who is just now looking for Him) balance the needs of her children, the obvious need of her abuser for help, her desires for revenge, his desires for control, the community's ignorance or unwillingness to step in, and all the other things that pop into our minds around the issue of abusing husbands.
How does she balance all the different opinions people throw at her about what the Bible says she should do? |
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