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jadalina
Full Member
Joined: 11 Nov 2002
Posts: 62
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 Posted: Fri Nov 22, 2002 1:47 pm Post subject: |
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Hii,
I am just wondering, for all who've been there and done that, what is best. Dating or Courtship?
And, what things do you talk about, do you tell everything about your life, or do you just answer the questions that are posed to you? Are there any things that absolutely have to be discussed?
Thanks. |
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Davep
Veteran
Joined: 02 Apr 2002
Posts: 463
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| Posted: Fri Nov 22, 2002 8:28 pm Post subject: |
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| Start out dating, develop friendships, which may become relationships, and finally courtship when it looks like you two may form a partnership. |
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jadalina
Full Member
Joined: 11 Nov 2002
Posts: 62
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| Posted: Sat Nov 23, 2002 1:41 pm Post subject: |
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Davep,
It seems lately that Dating is equated with sinning. JoShua Harris "I kissed dating goodbye", talks about not dating, but courting. Courting, which would be getting to know the potential spouse in the midst of friends, family or your mentors. While dating, is doing activities one on one, without necessarily involving the family or the Church.
If dating is okay, what are the guidelines on what to do or not do, say or not say; and do you wait until courtship to talk about important matters?  |
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Davep
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Joined: 02 Apr 2002
Posts: 463
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| Posted: Sat Nov 23, 2002 2:37 pm Post subject: |
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We are prisioners of words. Words do not seem to carry the same meaning and weight between people. What do the words "dating" and "courting" mean to you. You said courting is getting to know the "potential spouse". This assumes you have "that" potential spouse selected for further analysis already. Where did that person come from?
You need some sort of process to find potential people you could, and can relate too, in the first place. That process to me is Dating. But the labels are a smoke screen, what is your process, what sort of investment and decision making thoughts do you go through? |
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Janine
Veteran
Joined: 08 May 2002
Posts: 360
Location: South Louisiana
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| Posted: Sat Nov 23, 2002 3:25 pm Post subject: |
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Modern American dating can be nothing more than "divorce practice".
Some variation on courtship, starting after a decently long friendship that gave lots of time to talk over lots of things, and exposure to each other's ways of living, etc., is best, IMHO. |
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jadalina
Full Member
Joined: 11 Nov 2002
Posts: 62
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| Posted: Sat Nov 23, 2002 5:22 pm Post subject: |
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Davep,
Let's not assume I have that person yet. I would like to think that we learn how to drive, in preparation of getting a car. Uh.. not buying a car, and learning to drive later - that is what I would like to avoid.
When I meet someone, and there is attraction, we usually just talk and find out what we have in common - but that was before I received Christ as my savior (that's part of the problem). Possibly there would be a mention of getting together and doing something, ie. going to a movie, not with friends but alone.
I am unsure what is acceptable, and I am in a Church that still follows the non-believers sort of thing - liking each other, dating and marriage.
My decisions and thoughts? I don't really know, but have some ideals I would like to try. What do you think? |
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