Why am I always angry?

ilovejesus · Newbie Joined: 10 Feb 2008 Posts: 15

I am not exactly expecting anyone to answer the question posed in the subject line, as none of you know me personally, but the reason I am asking this question is to know if there is a spiritual aspect to anger.

Let me explain. For the past month or so I have been getting really impatient with my children and my husband. I now have a very short temper and very bad attitude problem. I recognize that I have these problems but I don't know how to change them - it's pretty scary because just a couple of months ago I was getting closer to Christ and now I know that I am drifting. I went to church this Sunday and did not feel as engaged in the message as I usually do. I don't know what is happening to me!

I am also finding that I am caring less about problems and issues that my friends have, and I feel like my heart is growing cold. I am wondering if I am starting to pick up my husbands attitude of not caring - he is always telling me to stay out of my friends business and that whatever happens to them should be their problem. I dont want to blame him for my attitude because it is not his fault, but I am really starting to develop selfish and unsympathetic characteristics.

I am also wondering if this is because I recently joined an investment group which is taking up a lot of my time. I find that I'm on a constant quest to make money now because it is really running low (my husband is working on and off and I just graduated from college and am looking for work). I noticed that when I never used to really worry about money I had a much better attitude. I also notice that when I used to volunteer with at risk youth, I was also alot happier. I dont know why this is...

What is the fine line between working tirelessly to make money (so that I can eventually devote more time to God), and worshiping money? I do not want to worship or love it because I know that in the Bible it says that I cannot serve two masters, but where do I find this balance?
And how can I change my attitude? Whenever I try, I feel SO much resistance inside to be happy. I really dont know what is happening to me, and I dont want it to destroy me and/or my family.

Any biblical insights that you have on these issues would be helpful, and please pray for me.

Thank you.

j3anjean · Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 7:03 am Post subject:

I am so sorry you are feeling this stress and you are so angry. You're right, without knowing you it is hard to say what may be causing your anger.

Some anger is good. Good anger is motivated by unselfishness and is directed at injustice or sin. This anger is motivating and empowering. But it sounds like you are dealing wih a different king of anger. Anger can be resentment or bitterness or selfishness. This kind of anger needs to be controlled and weeded out.

Hebrews 12:15 Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled

I have been there myself. Please know that if you are drawing away from worship and you are angry all the time even when unprovoked is frightening. You are heading down a dangerous path.

Have you spoken to your pastor of someone about this? Hve you thought about seeking counseling? I know money is tight right now and financial stresses are a huge cause of anger and resentment. However, some areas have free counseling. Sometimes anger is fear acted out. I would suggest that you read Psalm 46 today. Pray over it.

ilovejesus · Newbie Joined: 10 Feb 2008 Posts: 15

Thank you so much for your response and your prayers. I have prayed for God to remove the hardness of my heart and help me to develop compassion for others again.
Not coincidentally, my friend called me today and is in dire need of support and prayer (I have posted this in the Prayer section). It is through situations like hers that I must really be more thankful for what I have and realize that I need to focus on the positive. I find that when I help others I don't feel so irritated and upset.

God bless.

j3anjean · Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 5:56 am Post subject:

I've always heard that when you pray for patience-God does not suddenly zap you with a healthy dose of patience. He gives us opportunities too learn patience. I think God will provide you with opportunities to embrace His grace, learn compassion and be thankful. These things will chip at the anger in your heart. God bless you!

charity1 · Full Member Joined: 07 Jan 2008 Posts: 144

ilovejesus,
Hi! I'm praying for you too. When you asked for biblical insights for anger, I automatically thought of James 1:19 "Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger." Being married with children and trying to make money, you can't help but be stressed. Jeannie has already suggested that you read Psalm 46. I have found that all of Psalms helps me to calm down and put my trust in God. I have found that I have to read my Bible and take time to pray everyday and attend worship services regularly in order to keep my focus on God where it needs to be. I think you have answered your own question about your attitude. When you weren't worried about money and you were focusing on at risk youth, your focus was on helping others, not yourself or your problems. We are much happier if we can keep our focus on God first, our husband, our children, and our family and friends, in that order. Your husband may think you get too involved in your friends' problems, but I have found that when I help others, my own problems don't seem so big. A counselor wouldn't be a bad idea, but staying in God's word and talking to Him, will help you more than anything. Also, think about your blessings, such as your husband and children and think about how sad life would be without them. Don't ever take them for granted. If you can develop a heart of thankfulness, that really helps. As far as money goes, try very hard to not worry too much about it. God and family are much more important that money, and your children won't be children forever, try your best to enjoy them. Although they can wear on your nerves, they are precious blessings from God. Not everyone is blessed with children. When you get angry with them, try to remember back to when you were a child how you would have liked for your parents to treat you, and try to give them the attention and patience you would have wanted. You are making memories for them right now. Make sure they have memories of a happy childhood, not an angry mother. Try to step outside yourself and look at yourself as a stranger would. See what can be changed. Try to imagine what you would say to a friend that was having the same problems you are having. Hang in there! Whenever you feel like you are losing it, take a minute and say a quick prayer for God to help you.

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