Question for Women who cheated and who wanted reconcilliati

Empty Shell of a Man · Junior Member Joined: 11 Oct 2007 Posts: 27

This is strictly for women who cheated, either emotionally and/or physically, but as Christians, wanted to reconcile.

Did you find the following to be true:

That once a woman cheats on her husband, it is either impossible or very, very difficult for her to ever truly respect him again.

She may love him more than before the affair, and hate her sin with desperation, and may appreciate him and how he forgave her, she has admneded her life before God and before her husband. Her repentance is genuine, and not simply born of guilt, but of the Spirit of God. She has truly been forgiven.

but...living in the day to day, under the sun, natural world of which we are all subject:

Can she ever truly respect him again?

It is vital that I learn the truth of this. I am not talking about love, or about friendship, or even how compatible they are. I am speaking strictly of the sense of respect, as protrayed in the Word. That deep reverence, where Sarah called Abraham "lord:, where he, like Christ, loves His wife sacrificially, as Christ sacrificed for His Bride, but she, like the Church, fears Him with holy fear---true reverence.

Can the woman ever really respect him again?

thank you,

Empty Shell of a Man

km · Full Member Joined: 21 Dec 2007 Posts: 50

I'm not one of the ladies, but I would venture the opinion (from seeing enough situations in those around me - being from a very worldly background) that it isn't necessarily a matter of respect.

Men work heavily on a respect basis. Women work more heavily on an intimacy basis. Our 'different wiring' in that regard is one of the challenges of trying to live together - we don't necessarily process the same information/data/events the same way.

Her straying might not have anything to do with a respect problem, such that not only could she respect him at some point in the future, but she may have respeced him all along. Her issue is generally more intimaccy/yearning for love rather than respect.

babycakes · Veteran Joined: 06 Mar 2006 Posts: 309 Location: In Prayer

I can answer a resounding yes!

Something to consider -

There are emotional decisions that take place to get a woman to a place of infidelity first, before the physical ever enters the mind. And, those decisions are not usually out of a lack of respect but are often out of lonliness, not feeling cherished or lack of security.

I feel respect for my husband when he talks kindly about me to others and is not condescending toward my opinions or ideas.

I feel respect for him when he leads us in prayer.

I feel respect for him when he puts my needs ahead of his own - not because I'm self-centered, but because he's done something for me with an attitude of sacrifice and servanthood.

I feel respect him when he tells me he loves me everyday.

I feel respect for him when he makes wise financial decisions for our family.

I feel respect for him when he walks away from sin.

I feel respect for him when he's willing to have other men in his life to hold him accountable for his spiritual growth. family and career.

I lost my love for my husband 15 years ago. It's because the factors I just listed were not present in his life and were not something we shared together. Also, to be honest, neither one of us were truly Christ centered.
Oh, we were Christians and growing to some extent, but we were lukewarm.

There's a verse I saw posted by SAM the other day that really hits the nail on the head.

Revelation 3:16
"I know you inside and out, and find little to my liking. You're not cold, you're not hot—far better to be either cold or hot! You're stale. You're stagnant. You make me want to vomit."

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