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rdsmith3
Veteran
Joined: 04 Oct 2006
Posts: 332
Location: NJ
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 Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 11:55 am Post subject: please pray for someone to trust God |
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I am the type of person who finds it difficult to ask for help for myself. But I come today to ask for prayers. We are struggling with some issues in our family (the second marriage for both of us) that I believe we can work through, with God's grace. We are both seeing a Christian counsellor, both individually and together. I absolutely realize that I am a sinner, and I am just as responsible for the issues in our marriage.
My heart is very heavy right now because my wife is at the point where she does not trust the Lord. She believes that God has intentionally allowed bad things to happen in our home. She feels that God is directing only wrath at her, and cannot seem to find a way to trust in Him and feel His love and forgiveness for her. Therefore, she cannot trust me (some of her mistrust is understandable because of mistakes I have made in the past). She is very afraid and very angry.
At this point, I feel as if I can only pray for her. I see her as the beautiful creature that God created; the wife that He gave me. I am so sad for her, that she is experiencing such pain and fear. I am frustrated that I cannot fix it (which is my natural inclination).
Thanks for listening. Thanks for your prayers for healing in our marriage and our family.
Today I read Psalm 73:23-26 which helped me
| Quote: | Nevertheless, I am continually with you;
you hold my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will receive me to glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. |
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babycakes
Veteran
Joined: 06 Mar 2006
Posts: 312
Location: In Prayer
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| Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 1:17 pm Post subject: |
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You are in my prayers and will continue to be.
Psalm 24:4,5
Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in Your truth and teach me, for You are God my Savior, and my hope is in You all day long.
Isaiah 41:13
I am holding you by your right hand - I, the Lord Your God. And I say to you, "Do not be afraid. I am here to help you."
When I've experienced difficult times in my relationship with my husband, it's usually because one of us has let our relationship with God grow cold. When we think He's pulled away from us, it's usually the other way around.
I will pray that God draws your wife close and protects both of you during this vulerable time. |
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rdsmith3
Veteran
Joined: 04 Oct 2006
Posts: 332
Location: NJ
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| Posted: Tue May 01, 2007 11:37 am Post subject: |
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| I would really appreciate your joining me in prayer for this, again. |
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SAM
Veteran
Joined: 03 Mar 2001
Posts: 1989
Location: Chicago
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| Posted: Wed May 02, 2007 7:40 am Post subject: |
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No problem.
Lord, I ask you to lift up rd and his wife and their marriage. Protect them Lord and show them your plan and desires for their marriage. Help them to get "their" stuff out of the way. Soften hearts where they are hard, open ears that are closed and open hands and arms that can show love and forgiveness.
Make them aware, in amazing ways, of your presence in their lives.
Last edited by SAM on Wed May 02, 2007 8:28 am; edited 1 time in total |
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broken2peices
Newbie
Joined: 06 Jan 2007
Posts: 16
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| Posted: Wed May 02, 2007 8:18 am Post subject: PRayer |
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| I will pray for your wife and your marriage as I pray the same prayer for my husband and my marriage. God is Good. He is our Saviour right. Trust and Obey..... |
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Karelina9
Full Member
Joined: 25 Mar 2007
Posts: 65
Location: at His feet......in prayer
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| Posted: Wed May 02, 2007 10:12 am Post subject: Yes...... |
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I'm praying for you,
It is so hard to walk in faith sometimes. I know, I've been there......and I am still there on some days. As a woman she does require some sense of security in the home, be it, emotional, financial, or relational. Not sure whats going on, but I do know that God does not send us trials that have no hope. There is always hope no matter how bleak its there. She needs to realize that sometimes we face these trials to grow us up, to test our faith, and that satan has a field day with us when we start falling. I suggest you fast and pray for her one afternoon. As her husband only you know her well enough to know the struggles she is facing. Ask God to meet her in a special way. Ask him to surround her with his peace that surpasses all understanding. I can say that God has met in that way so many times. WE have had a lot of instability for the past 4 years and it has taken a toll on both of us. I am praying with you to remain strong in your faith so that you may help carry her through this dark time in her walk. God Bless you. I thank you for the privilige of praying for you. |
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rdsmith3
Veteran
Joined: 04 Oct 2006
Posts: 332
Location: NJ
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| Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 2:52 pm Post subject: |
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I would really appreciate your prayers for basically a continuation of the same issues. My wife feels as if the trials and tribulations are non-stop, and she believes she would be better off w/o me. I try to encourage her, and point out how much progress we have made as individuals and as a family.
thanks so much. |
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Karelina9
Full Member
Joined: 25 Mar 2007
Posts: 65
Location: at His feet......in prayer
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| Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 6:13 pm Post subject: I will be praying for you |
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I understand that ongoing strain can drain you. I myself have it going on as well. But I have to keep reminding myself that I am not here because of a chance meeting, I am here by divine design. I appreciate your character in trying everything you can to save your marriage. It is commendable. Continue to turn your wife toward scripture to remind her that life is not supposed to be an easy walk. We are here for more than enjoyment. We are here to grow us into who God wants us to be. Sometimes its these trials that bring us into Gods will. It's for our character and it prepares us for the service that God has in mind for us. If we continue to run from them, they will only come back to haunt us once again. Sorry this is more for your wife than you, lol.  sorry. I will pray for you both, I will pray that she will lean on God to help both you and her to work through whatever it is. I know that God will honor your prayers. Hang tight, pray and ask God how he can help you tp become the man your wife desires. I will pray that God will prick her heart and bring understanding of His will for you both. I pray that God will heal your heart and direct you in His path he has set out for you.
I'm getting ready to post a prayer request for me now.... We have this wonderful venue for support, I praise God for it! Hang on, God is working it all out...... ((( approppriate hugs)))  |
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rdsmith3
Veteran
Joined: 04 Oct 2006
Posts: 332
Location: NJ
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| Posted: Tue Nov 06, 2007 3:02 pm Post subject: |
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I would again appreciate your prayers. My wife is extremely distraught. My son, her step son, hurt us in some very serious ways. He was in a residential facility for a year. He is now 18 and returning to live near us. My wife is very fearful because of this. She is still not trusting God. We have taken reasonable precautions (we have installed an alarm system and put new locks on the doors, etc.) but she just has this incredible fear.
She is quitting on the marriage and shutting me out. For example, she wrote this to me yesterday
| Quote: | I do not want to be near you in any way. You know that. I have never felt safe and content with you. I love my son and do believe he is a miracle from God. He is the one awesome thing to come out of a nightmare.
There are no more words, thoughts or feelings I have left to say to you. You know all of them. We have been through all of them.
Being in a relationship is not good for anyone. I already know what you have to say in response so you do not need to go there.
My heart is numb.dead to you and this marriage.
You do not control how I deal with this. You have never been good for me.
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Please pray that she would be able to trust God first for her protection and safety. |
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rdsmith3
Veteran
Joined: 04 Oct 2006
Posts: 332
Location: NJ
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| Posted: Tue Nov 06, 2007 3:08 pm Post subject: |
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Here is some more of what she has been writing to me, just so you can see how truly desperate she is. We have both been in Christian counseling (individually and together) but she seems really stuck. (Yes, I am a sinner, too, and I definitely contributed to problems in the marriage, but I have made a lot of changes in the last year.)
| Quote: | A believer can have not great things in their life, including sin as we all have sin, and still accept Christ as their savior. I can still be a believer and have things that are severed or strained and still be saved. The consequence is to not have joy and or complete contentment. I can accept that, though, as I can at least not go through more drama as it relates to you. I will not allow the circumstances to get to my heart, mind and soul. I again would rather feel nothing than anything else associated with these past years. I would rather battle ..., my own past sins and all, my kids and family, my mother's death, than another moment of what I have done here with you. I would rather face my very poor choices of the past 4 plus years, my hurting you, my kids, hurting myself in many ways, sinning terribly against God, than to deal with that entire situation.
I can be saved and not do what you want. This response of mine is not changing that I am justified by God, sanctification is occurring...and I will be with my Heavenly Father one day and all of this will not even exist when I am safely with Him. God is not evil, he did not make evil. People are evil by their sinful choices. (No I am not saying you are evil that is not my point here) People are not trustworthy. So I will recognize that and guard against attacks to the best of my ability until God takes me home. You can try to argue my points. I do not care if you do. You can send me scriptures upon scriptures. Go ahead. I have to face my God on my own without any other person. I plan to eventually be not bitter, resentful, unforgiving, but that is different from letting you in an inch. I know what I have to work on without your help. I can accept not having your support as a result of this. I have to do this on my own with God anyway.
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So, again, I would really appreciate your prayers for my wife to trust God, and to find her hope and peace in Him. I think she believes it in her head, but not in her heart. Please also pray for healing in our marriage.
I love her, and I hate to see her hurting so much. |
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SAM
Veteran
Joined: 03 Mar 2001
Posts: 1989
Location: Chicago
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| Posted: Tue Nov 06, 2007 3:34 pm Post subject: |
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I have lifted you up in prayer and your marriage and will be happy to continue to do so.
There is something that seems to stick out - there is no mention of Christ's grace and forgiveness and dependence upon Him to help her through this.
| Quote: | | I have to do this on my own. |
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rdsmith3
Veteran
Joined: 04 Oct 2006
Posts: 332
Location: NJ
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| Posted: Tue Nov 06, 2007 3:43 pm Post subject: |
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Sam
Thanks so much for your prayers. You hit the nail on the head, and this is the conversation we have had so many times, and it is why she does not want me to send her any more scriptures. Oh, I pray that God will touch her heart.
She seems to think that God wants to punish her, and is not answering her prayers for this. |
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rdsmith3
Veteran
Joined: 04 Oct 2006
Posts: 332
Location: NJ
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| Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 7:55 am Post subject: |
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After another exchange of words yesterday, my wife sent me a very honest e-mail from the heart today.
I ask for prayers that I will have patience and will wait on the Lord to do the work, instead of me trying to "fix" things. I also ask for prayers that God will touch her heart, and that she will come to trust Him completely.
| Quote: | I said last night in one message that I am glad you were brutally honest in your portrayal of me as your wife. I did not lie on 6/28 [our wedding date] to you or God. I lied to myself. I was not aware of the depth of my inability to have a marital relationship. I am not bringing up the past in regard to you, only myself. I never really got the depth of my stone heart. I do not allow people in. That does not work in marriage. I am coming full circle and I realize that not only was I(and still today) not good for your son, but I can see based on your observations last night that I am not good for you either. This is not about feeling sorry for myself (well maybe a little) it is about truth as you like to call it. I am not willing to open up my heart to people other than my children and now I even question that. I have caused harm to others and that includes my two husbands. I have pleaded, begged, wailed to God to have grace and mercy on me and change my head, heart and to make me dead to myself so I can be His instrument. I can not do a thing without God. I sit and listen to many people and there is no comfort in the words, just condemnation. This path to being a Christian has been mostly one filled with pain. This has not brought joy or contentment. I still can not serve others because of bondage and sin.
I do not want to hear encouragement now please or words to say I am making changes. I am saying that there has been no sense of peace and love on this journey.
I have hurt my kids most of all by dragging them around in my pathetic life. So I feel I have let them down the most as I chose to have them and have failed to be a good model for them. This is when you usually say that having a good marriage is what is best for them. I have heard this so many times from you. It is just not that simple. I may have never committed to you but I have shut my heart so far off to you that well I have no ways to unshut it. I know this is where we end up disagreeing but I will say I WILL NOT let you come in to my heart right now. I believe you have changed a great deal, but I do not see you as the holder of my heart. I think if I give it to you there may be no chance to survive if you do a thing to betray it. I feel fragile now and it is not the time to take a chance at it. I have to let God have my heart first and that is easier. I do not see us as a safe place. I feel worn and beaten by life and it is just a miracle that I am not a drug addict, active drinker, etc. If you do not understand I am sorry, but I do not feel up to defending myself.
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rdsmith3
Veteran
Joined: 04 Oct 2006
Posts: 332
Location: NJ
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| Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 6:52 am Post subject: |
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We are still in need of prayers in our marriage, and I would greatly appreciate them. Thanks.
I have come to the point at which I think my wife is really fighting with God, not me, and I surrender it to the Lord. That is hard to do on a daily basis, however. I also pray for healing for my wife, for any hurts she has experienced in her life, both real and perceived. I pray that she learns to love herself and God, most of all. |
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Elligirl
Full Member
Joined: 28 Dec 2007
Posts: 120
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| Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 2:05 pm Post subject: |
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Praying for you both
Elli |
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