The Saved and Unsaved

marzettejohnson · Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2005 1:04 pm Post subject: The Saved and Unsaved

My husband and I have been married for almost 10 years. When we got married we were not saved, but we were heavily involved in church, bible study, etc. We had our children and made sure they were christianed, but still we were not saved. I was saved 3 years ago, but my husband was not. He stopped attending bible study, he was no longer intersted in going to church on time and in taking our children to Sunday School. However, I became the person responsible for getting our children to all church activities and I am now the person who prays for them and with them. My husband doesn't read his bible, he doesn't want to pray with us and he doesn't want to watch any religious programs on TV. This has become very frustrating.

I recently joined another church where I am being fed spiritually and where our children can become more involved. Our old church was more interested in following rituals, etc, rather than following Christ. However, my husband chose to stay and gave us permission to go elsewhere.

I have spoken to my husband about salvation. It has been prophesized to him several times from different people that the he has a calling on his life. Each time I speak to him about this, he shuts down. He recently told me that he did not want to be saved and that he was fine the way he is. It was very disappointing to hear. I pray for him daily (and have done so for the past 3 years), and it seems like the more I pray things continue to stay the same.

Does any one have advice on what I can do. Question

SAM · Veteran Joined: 03 Mar 2001 Posts: 2132 Location: Chicago

Hi and welcome to GT -
I was in the same place with my husband many years ago and it is so very hard. Continue praying and ask other Christians to pray for him as well.

What we had to do was find a new church - together. Once we did that and my husband was feeling he was on neutral ground and had a place that he felt was relevant, good worship music and didn't ask for money all the time, he felt a lot more comfortable. It was important to be on a united front for our children and not to be sending them mixed messages (might be something you and your husband can discuss). Does this create unity in our family or separateness? What do you think we can do so we do not send a message to our children that we are divided?

There is a great book out there by Lee and Leslie Strobel called "Surviving a Spiritually Mismatched Marriage" that is excellent and covers many of the issues you are facing. Mostly, as frustrating as things can be, show your husband Christ's love each day to the best of your ability. My willingness to try and to pray for my husband (The Power of a Praying Wife, by Stormie O'Martian) helped him in his spiritual journey.

marzettejohnson · Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2005 3:53 pm Post subject:

Thank you for your comments. I have read the book by Stormie O'Martian, but not the other one. I will make sure that I find it.

SAM · Veteran Joined: 03 Mar 2001 Posts: 2132 Location: Chicago

You can find the book here through the GT Bookstore
http://www.bookschristian.com/sys/product.php?PRODUCT=97154

marzettejohnson · Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2005 12:44 pm Post subject:

I finally received my book in the mail, and have begun reading it. I am not even half way through the book, and I already see similarities. It's as though the authors are looking into my house. I've had an epiphany since reading the book. The stress level (for me) is starting to lessen.

Thank you again for your suggestion.

SAM · Veteran Joined: 03 Mar 2001 Posts: 2132 Location: Chicago

You are more than welcome. I'm glad it's of help/reassurance to you.
You are never alone - there are always other brothers and sisters in Christ to pray and help you.

Have a Blessed Christmas!

marzettejohnson · Posted: Wed Jan 04, 2006 4:32 pm Post subject: Update

I am almost finished with the book, and again thank you for your recommendation. I have decided I am no longer going to try and help God out. I am been really praying, and God has revealed somethings to me about this situation. God has revealed that my husband feels like he has lost me to Christianity, and that I am to love my husband. Since I have stopped trying to force salvation on my husband, I have felt some pressure lift from both of us. I was even able to have a heart-to-heart conversation without it turning into an argument.

SAM · Veteran Joined: 03 Mar 2001 Posts: 2132 Location: Chicago

I'm so glad this book has been of great insight to you.

marzettejohnson · Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 6:03 pm Post subject:

I husband saw me reading the book, and he wants to read when I an done. Also, he has started asking me questions about the Lord, and has started going to Sunday School. He is even beginning to help more with our girls.

The prays of the righteous availith much.

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