The "Dungeons and Dragons Game" Is it right?

rdsmith3 · Full Member Joined: 04 Oct 2006 Posts: 274 Location: NJ

It is really hard to understand, and even harder to accept, but God is great no matter what. If we praise God when things are going well, we should also praise Him when things are not going well. God is sovereign and in control of everything -- He does not change even though our situation might. For some reason, he allows these difficult things to happen in our lives. He wants us to learn something; or He has to humble us in some way; or He is using us to help another person -- there are many reasons why God might put us in a difficult circumstance. Therefore, we must seek to understand what God's will is in our life, and we must try our best, with His grace, to carry it out. It sounds like a cliche, but we end up as a better, stronger Christian when we emerge from the difficult times.

Remember that the view is great from the top of a high mountain, but that is not where we find God. We find Him in our every day life, down in the valleys. God is working in our lives every single minute of every day. Where do you find things growing? In the valleys, even though they are in darkness at times, not at the peak of a mountain.

babycakes · Veteran Joined: 06 Mar 2006 Posts: 309 Location: In Prayer

I am so grateful that you will be going for counseling.

When I went into counseling with my husband, I did so with the mindset of this counselor will tell him what he is doing wrong in our marriage and help change him. And, all I wanted to do is sit there during our sessions and bash the daylights out of him for what an awful husband he was and get the counselor to agree with me.

It didn't work. He felt attacked and wanted to leave counseling.

I had a very wise counselor who asked me to do a separate session on my own and told me that I had to work on making changes in myself first. I had to trust God enough (with the faith of a mustard seed) to let the Holy Spirit work on my husband's heart and show him the changes he needed to make. If you force change on someone and continually point out their faults, your time in counseling will never work.

However, when things would come up - the counselor would ask my husband, "Do you feel this helps your marriage grow closer, or further apart?" It definitely helped him process his actions.

thetimethief · Newbie Joined: 01 May 2008 Posts: 2

I'm soo sorry you're in this place in your marriage. It's a hard spot to be in, and it seems that the strength of your marriage isn't the only thing being tested here.

I grew up on Dungeons and Dragons and began playing when Reagan elected president. I found it an outlet for creativity that was invaluable.

Then I became a Christian and D&D wasn't as satisfying as it once was. It no longer fit. I did, however, find a game similar that was created by a youth pastor in California that is Scripture based and suits my creative outlet needs well. This may be a compromise for you but will not solve the deeper issues you are experiencing.

I'm glad you're going to counseling; for you and your marriage. Ripx's heart is in the right place, but I don't advise divorce...yet. Divorce does create pain and lasting heartache and is not a quick solution. Ripx is correct, however, that you need to also be mindful of your needs as they are important too. Counseling could also help you remember what made you love him and help him understand what his role in your marriage needs to be and how to be the man he needs to be.

His trepidation about talking about his salvation and his story is troubling. Please tread carefully, my experiences have been that reticence in this usually leads to the revelation of not really being saved.

Jane_Doe · Newbie Joined: 04 May 2008 Posts: 20

timethief,

I'm kind of afraid that it didn't really get saved... I know I can't judge and I know I don't seem too christianly myself these days. I do worry that he doesnt really understand...

We grew up differently in church. He wasnt really taken to church much and he and his family kind of are the kind that "it's fine to stay home and not go to church" "It's how you live is what God cares about etc...."

He's the first and only christian I've ever met that said that talking about your salvation or the day you got saved is "personal". I've never met another christian thats soo reserved about it.

As far as the counseling.....there may be a problem.....

I called my insurance today to ask a question about this counseling and I've found out that they won't cover marriage counseling....

Unless we can do it through my husbands insurance, it may not be an option....

thetimethief · Newbie Joined: 01 May 2008 Posts: 2

Insurance companies stink sometimes...

Perhaps your pastor could step in and do some counseling?

Jane_Doe · Newbie Joined: 04 May 2008 Posts: 20

lol I think I'd feel worse about talking to our pastor than a counselor. With a pastor, if we got into all our issues, why I'd feel condemned. lol

Also, I've kind of struggled with whether or not I even want to go to this church. I think he's a good pastor and there are things I like about the church, I've just struggled alot thinking that somethings just missing. So, it'd be hard enough in that reason alone to talk to the pastor. Also, I'm not sure how to take ours. He seems very passive. If thats the right word....

I'm thinking that we still might have a shot, with my husbands insurance. I think his may cover marriage counseling, the only thing is it appears to only have two counselors covered by his, and one I don't think is an option......(I won't get into that) so we're only left with one option... Maybe it will be a good one...

I may have to call the offices and find out what the strait office visit cost is, and if it's not tooo horrible maybe we can pay the cost if we have to for a while. I think it's a specially funded facility, so it may not be as high cost as other counselors. So maybe if worse comes to worse it will be in our budget enough to handle the cost if insurance wont take it.

Also, with you guys help and prayers, because my christian life isn't the best right now and hasn't been for a long time.... (thats another story). Help me, and pray that If my feelings on this game are right, and if my husband and even his family have spiritual issues then just pray that God will show them or show them what I need that way they'll understand me.

I do wonder sometimes because they do have some odd view points on some things religiously and I truly worry sometimes if the lack of my husbands involvement in church as a child might be why he looks at things so odd.

But pay that what needs communicated to them, that I can't do, Pray that God will do that for me. Not just what they need to know but for myself too. I just have soooo many communication issues with his family as well, (again another story) but I feel like I can't convey what I mean to the point that they understand me, and it frustrates me..

I'll hush now.... Embarassed

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