soulmate slipping away - marriage

htech70 · Newbie Joined: 31 Mar 2003 Posts: 1

When I married my soulmate,one beautiful thing was that we had nothing to hide from each other. We both knew each others passwords for online. Now she has gotten mad at me and changed her password. I told her I have no secrets from her and would have no problem if she reads my mail. I no there are no others but she refuses to change her password back. I feel for whatever reason she is hiding something from me and have told her so. I am ready to cancel our Internet. Is this being unreasonable?

BLUEMARE · Newbie Joined: 03 Mar 2003 Posts: 16

It does make one wonder what's up. But let's dig a bit first. Are you both Christians? Are you both walking with the Lord, attending church regularly and spending time with God alone & together?

These are important questions to ask because if the answer is "no" to one or more, this may the root of the issue. Breakdown in communication with each other in Christ automatically leads to spiritual separation and distrust.

If your answers are "yes," then you need to trust your wife. In light of eternity, changing a password is rather a tiny issue and not worth losing sleep over.

I would encourage you, though, to use the control features most ISP's have to block out porn, gambling and other sites that are not acceptable. You can also use the Message Rules option in your e-mail accounts to automatically delete e-mails that contain certain words and block particular senders. If your ISP doesn't have controls sufficient enough to block the bad stuff, change to a pre-filtered Christian ISP. There are many out there.

Note: You and your wife need to set these parameters together. To just do it yourself would give the appearance of distrust and would only cause more conflict.

Wynne · Full Member Joined: 03 Dec 2002 Posts: 109 Location: USA

May we know why she "got mad"?

Davep · Veteran Joined: 02 Apr 2002 Posts: 463

Marriage is a partnership between God, Husband, and Wife. All three should have the same purpose, but that doesn't mean all three are duplicates or clones of each other. When Husband and Wife share their private moments or thoughts it's a privledge, being married doesn't make sharing a requirement.

Women have private conversations, just as men do. When one person communicates feelings of distrust simply because they are not included in all correspondance, Satan has the perfect wedge to separate the marriage.

There was a good reason why God didn't want Adam & Eve to eat from the tree of All Knowledge of Good and Eve. Knowing everything your spouse sees and does is a burden.

Also our only soulmate is God Cool

Janine · Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2003 11:33 am Post subject:

Yeah, a little privacy is a good thing.

And especially in women like myself who want to be the traditional wife we read about in the Bible, the longing to have something all our own is almost overwhelming at times. This is what drives a lot of women who don't need to work for the family's financial benefit out to find a job. They want a work, a place, a spot, a creation, all their own.

Try not to worry about it. If there is some sin or evil behind it, it will unfortunately crop up visible in some other area of life. You don't have to feel like you're missing something when she locks you out of her "computer life". Trust me, it will be impossible to miss if something bad's there, 'cause it will show up elsewhere.

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