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hazeleyed
Newbie
Joined: 04 Oct 2007
Posts: 2
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 Posted: Thu Oct 04, 2007 10:42 am Post subject: Seperation |
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Hello,
My husband and I have been separted for almost two years now (in Nov 2007). Iwas going thru a lot of emotional problems with my husband. I was getting abused physically as well. I was miserable and felt like i wasnt loved. I ended up cheated on him. My husband feels this is all my fault. He will not pay or give me a divorce. he feels i should pay since i cheated. Since then he has commited adultry on me because under Gods eyes we are still married. He has been with several differnet woman. he makes me feel like our marriage was faultless on his end. Since then two years ago he still has not forgiven me. I ve had nothing but lies out of him and i have felt nothing but pain. I have learned to forgive. I recenlty got rebaptized and submitted my life back to Jesus. I know there. I know there is hope or our marriage. I have asked for forgiveness with jesus and i m leaving right. My question is our 5 year marriage anniversary is coming up. I have waited for so long to be with him and i have showed nothing but love towards him and all throughout being mistreated by him. he makes it difficult for me to be his wife. the more i try the more he pushes me away. I m letting God take over. In the mean time what should I do?? i love him and want my family back. he doesnt even see his children like before(2 boys ages 3 and 5 years old).
Thanks!!! May God Bless! |
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babycakes
Veteran
Joined: 06 Mar 2006
Posts: 309
Location: In Prayer
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| Posted: Thu Oct 04, 2007 11:18 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | I m letting God take over. In the mean time what should I do?? |
Let God take over and put your worry into his hands - as well as your husband over to God too. And... pray.
Please consider picking up the book, Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie O'Martian.
Because of the history of abuse - what do you think your husband has done to change his anger patterns so there will be no possibility of this EVER happening again to you or your children?
Even if all the stars lined up and you could move back in together tomorrow, why would you do so without intense marital counseling for a minimum of 6 months? The issues that caused you to have an affair have not disappeared. There are no excuses for physical abuse or you causing him to become angry.
Without a serious heart change on his part, things are not likely to change when things become stressful. And... marriage is stressful at times.
You are now closer to God... is he?? It doesn't seem so.
So wait. Sometimes the Holy Spirit sends us all kinds of warning signals that say "wait". It's OK to wait on the Lord's timing in this. Do you trust God enough to let Him be in the driver's seat while you sit in the back seat? That means you can't be a back seat driver telling the Lord which way to turn and to hurry up. 
And, what if the Spirit taps on your shoulder telling you to stay 100 miles away from this man because there is no ownership of his abuse? What if he won't go for counseling? Will you be willing to listen?
Your children are more important than this abusive relationship.
I have lifted you and your marriage up in prayer this afternoon and will continue to do so. |
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hazeleyed
Newbie
Joined: 04 Oct 2007
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Mon Oct 08, 2007 8:35 am Post subject: Re- Separtion |
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Hello Babycakes,
Thank you so much for your feed back. Yes i already have the book you mentioned. As far as my husband, No he isnt closer to God. He feels whatever abuse he put me thru i deserved it. He wont go to any classes with me. I told him when we were living together that we needed to go to counseling. He never accepted. he makes me feel like i m in this marriage alone. He has moved pretty far away from me and our children. He isn't involved like he needs to be. I have left in in God's hands. I just feel like the devil is lieing to me telling me that i made my bed so now i have to lay in it. I know that the devil is a liar and a murdered. Either way God is in control and i trust he knows what best. Thanks again for your encouraging words. |
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babycakes
Veteran
Joined: 06 Mar 2006
Posts: 309
Location: In Prayer
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| Posted: Mon Oct 08, 2007 9:37 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | As far as my husband, No he isnt closer to God. He feels whatever abuse he put me thru i deserved it. He wont go to any classes with me. I told him when we were living together that we needed to go to counseling. He never accepted. |
Ok, this says a lot about his heart condition.
And, before you pursue having this man back in your life and the life of your children...
There needs to be a significant change and a desire to do his part to ask for forgivness and work on the "baggage' he brings to the relationship. |
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