Janine
Veteran
Joined: 08 May 2002
Posts: 360
Location: South Louisiana
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 Posted: Fri Jun 06, 2003 9:56 am Post subject: |
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Dear Shel, and everyone -
A friend from another board dropped by here (as I try to get all my friends to do) and saw your concerns and wanted me to pass this on to you. It had so many good points, I think we all ought to read it.
| Quote: | Good Morning, Janine,
I read the thread on growthtrac regarding the prayer request for her (Shel's) husband. I wonder if I could persuade you to relay a message for me.
She asked for suggestions regarding prayer and following the will of God, how one knows when he/she is following His will. I recommend a study. It has a workbook and a book, I used the workbook without the book and I feel I benefited greatly from this study. It is called, "Experiencing God" by Blackwell and... and... argh, I'd have to look on my workbook at home, I don't remember right now. It's on the tip of my tongue. Anyway, they are Baptist authors. The workbook is very informative regarding the very questions she was asking! Learning how to be in the midst of His Will!!!! Oh, I so very recommend this study!
Also, I'd like to say one more thing. After my divorce, I thought nothing worse could happen to me. I had a fear of being homeless. I had no idea how to manage money or tend to responsibilities. I fell apart emotionally, mentally, spiritually... and eventually, financially.
As you can likely surmise, I did end up being homeless. Part of that time was spent living with my sister in Montana. But she used me and my situation to her advantage and lied to her husband, blaming her drinking on me. After which, I did end up keeping myself in a drunken stupor (almost as though to prove her right!)
Anyway, another part of that time was spent living in a very tiny trailer that had no bathroom facilities, no running water, no heat in what turned out to be one of the coldest winters in Montana's history!
I'll not go into ALL of the details of that situation. Suffice it to say, I learned much from that experience. Not the least of which was leaning completely on Him! And other homeless people, Janine, they were amazing! They treated one another in a way that I had always been taught that we in the church ought to treat one another!!!! Those who had what society deemed to be nothing, gave of their "nothing' to those who had even less! Can you imagine? Well, I lived it! I experienced it! And I have to tell you, sometimes I miss the feelings I had when in that state of homelessness!
Anyway, my point is this, should the "worse" happen... it's only a state of mind. It is not the worst that could happen. The worst that could happen, I learned, is to lose hope. He, when you truly learn to lean on Him, renews that hope every morning! Every single morning, Janine! Can you imagine that!?! Well, I lived it. I experienced it. There are shelters and there are opportunities for those that society deems to be...
hang on, I want to share something with you that I just remembered, am just reminded of...
Wednesday night class we studied in Romans 12 - one of my favorite chapters because I love the "renewing" verses. During the course of the discussion, someone brought out that most assume that spiritual gifts meant speaking in tongues, healing, or some other miraculous ability. Then someone else responded that any deed done for the benefit of the church was service and was important - relating a story from yesteryear about an elderly man who braved the bitter cold to head to the church building, go down into the basement and fire up the furnace.
From that, someone commented about central h/a and how we don't use furnaces anymore. Then someone brought up how we take having electricity and water for granted and anyone who doesn't have it now days doesn't have it because he's a sluggard. At this point, my feathers started to ruffle. I sat silently and listened as the discussion continued.
Another spoke up regarding a homeless man who "chose" to freeze to death on the sidewalk rather than take shelter offered to him. She concluded, and the class as a whole murmured and nodded in agreement, that the homeless are in that position due to being sluggards and remain in that position because they LIKE being homeless.
Now then, hold that thought while I share something I just read in "Chicken Soup for the Single's Soul":
| Quote: | Flowers from Our Garden
I am in my late forties and have two teenage daughters. My life has been difficult but, by the grace of God, I am a survivor.
My girls and I spent much of their childhood in shelters and living on the street. Though we were together six years, I never married the girls' father. He couldn't hold a job and although I am a hard worker, without a college education, the money just wasn't enough to support us. He spent most of my money on hard liquor, and he didn't come home for days at a time.
One day, after he had threatened to kill me (he was a violent drunk), I packed up my babies and our belongings and headed for a better part of town. I figured I would give my girls a good education, even if we had to live on the street.
I managed to find a job as a waitress at a local coffee shop, and I enrolled my girls in a good public school. My job didn't pay enough for rent, so we moved from shelter to shelter. I was nervous about the address, so I got a post office box and used the address for school paperwork.
No one suspected we were homeless. My girls went to school every day. If the shelter was nearby, we walked. If we had to, we took a bus.
My girls were always very presentable. I let them go to friends' houses as much as possible, and I often tried to buy they special gifts. But, mostly, the little money we had was put away for their future.
We had made a pact that we would not tell anyone we were homeless because I was sure this fine school wouldn't allow my daughters to remain if they knew about our situation.
One day, several years later, one of the girls came back to the shelter and told me her friends' mother had invited all three of us over for supper the next evening. I managed to talk the director of the shelter into allowing me to use the kitchen to bake cookies.
We knocked on the door of a beautiful two-story home. It was spotless and comfortable. Mary, the mother, was so appreciative of the cookies. We had a wonderful evening, and I knew I had found a friend.
A few days later, Leticia, my youngest, came home and said that Mary had asked for our phone number. She wanted to call me to get together. Leticia told her we were having trouble with the phones, and she would have me call her. I hated that my girls had to lie.
I called Mary and again we got together at her house. She and I became good friends. I constantly told her that I wanted to have her over to our place, but then I would lie and say we were having trouble with the landlord of our apartment building or that something wasn't working, like the stove, the air conditioning, etc.
Mary came into the coffee shop one day and asked if I could spend my break with her. We took a walk, and then she stopped at a vacant house a few blocks down the road. It had a For Rent sign out front and was the most adorable little home.
Mary said, "Do you like this place?"
"Oh very much! I exclaimed. "But it's way out of my league."
"Why don't we call and find out? Mary said.
This upset me. I told her that the most I could afford was $350 a month. No one would rent a house for that little - especially this house.
The next day, Mary came into the coffee shop with a big grin on her face and a For Rent sign in her hands. She was so excited that she couldn't hold back the news. "I spoke with the owner of that house and guess what? They're renting the place for $350 a month! It couldn't be more perfect for you and the girls."
I told her, "That's impossible. Houses rent for three times that much in this neighborhood."
She explained that the owners didn't really need the money. They just needed someone who would appreciate living there and would take special care of it.
A few weeks later, we moved in. We managed to get some furniture from the Salvation Army. Shari, my oldest, took wood shop in school and made us a fine coffee table. We fixed the place up, and I even planted some flowers, which made me feel like I was planting my roots. I hoped to stay here a long time, raise my girls, and always have a place for them to come home to.
But secrets, I've found, don't usually stay secrets. One month, I had to mail my rent check, but it was during the holidays, and I didn't want it to be late, so I decided to drop it off at the appropriate post office box. I was standing in line at the post office when I heard a familiar voice ask for a package from the box where I sent my rent. I peeked around the line and was shocked to see Mary!
She was thumbing through her mail when I touched her arm. Tears were starting to form in my eyes, and I could barely speak. "Mary, is it your house we're living in? Did you do this for us?"
She put her arm around my shoulder and walked me outside. By the time we reached the sidewalk, I was sobbing. I am a very strong woman and tears don't come easily. I have been through a lot in my life, but no one had ever been so kind.
Mary told me that Leticia had slipped and told her daughter we were homeless. She said she never would have guessed. The girls were always so clean and well-dressed. She said it was her and her husband's first home, and it was very special to them, that they had owned the house for a long time, and it was paid for. She and her husband had talked about it and wanted to rent the house to us. She hadn't wanted me to know because she was afraid I would think it was charity.
Shari is graduating from high school this year, and because we were able to save enough money, she is going to college.
Mary is my Earth Angel, and I want her to know that I appreciate her kindness and generosity, and that I love her.
I bring Mary fresh flowers every week from our garden.
Jerry and Lorin Biederman |
I shared that story because I've been there. I've listened to the homeless... felt their pain, shame, humiliation... and... their hope... I was homeless myself. I've kept that no secret. Not because I'm proud of where I've been, but because I am amazed at what The Father has done, knowing where I've been!
So I listened as the class assessed the state and status of the homeless - "without electricity and water because they are sluggards". The mother of the two girls in the story I just shared doesn't sound like a sluggard to me.
Having been homeless, I recall the feeling of distrust towards someone coming up to offer help. Sometimes help was readily accepted, often times refused. And it is difficult to explain what constituted the difference. A sense. A feeling. I don't know. But there was indeed a difference. And whatever that difference, I suspect it was the negative one that caused that man to refuse help that bitter cold night that he froze to death. I was offended, saddened, and disgraced at the assessment of my Wednesday Night Bible Class regarding the homeless - a harsh, blanket judgment rendered to all homeless.
I lived without electricity, water, indoor bathroom facilities, or even heat in MT during one of their coldest winters in history! The only job I could get, I earned a mere $35 per week! With it being one of the coldest winters and snowiest winters in MT's history, I did hire myself out to shovel snow off people's roofs to sustain us between paychecks.
I hauled water from the creek until it froze over, then I melted snow over a campfire - takes a LOT of snow to make a gallon of water! Other homeless and I did what we had to do to survive - shovel snow, go to construction sites to offer to fill in for employees who didn't show up for work that day and paint, or mask, or do a construction clean for 12 - 24 hours of work (some jobs took two 12 hour shifts) we'd receive $10.
And we who had nothing, shared with one another and with those who had less than nothing! I saw more hope in the eyes and the hearts of those homeless people than I see in the pews!!! Compassion, mercy... they know how to give that!!! I heard no compassion or mercy last night as I listened to them judge and label the homeless.
And as I typed this, the thought occurred to me... who are the poor we are commanded to help?
And what of our Lord? Didn't He not have a place to lay His head? Was He not... homeless???
No, I don't presume to compare my situation to His... I wasn't going around performing miracles or doing The Father's work... but neither was I a sluggard. Many homeless struggle; fighting, scraping and clawing to find a way out of their situation - fighting prejudices like what I encountered in my Bible Class last night.
Why do you suppose the woman in the story I shared felt compelled to lie about being homeless? The homeless learn to recognize a look in the eyes and a tone in the voice... that look of judgment, condemnation, the sound of loathing and contempt... we saw and heard it a lot. I never expected to hear that attitude or see that look in or from the church!
Sorry this has been such a long message... I'll end it now. But my final point is that should the "worst" happen to Shel and her family, it is NOT THE worst... and that time can be the catalyst that brings them closer to their Father than they ever imagined possible! Do not fear financial devastation... for it shifts the focus from Him to the abilities or lack thereof of self. He will always provide. We simply must learn to see and recognize His hand and realize that He alone chooses the method by which He will provide. Trust, cling to Him and ever and always hope! Drink deeply of His renewing of hope every morning! Amazing changes will take place!
Still Clinging to Him,
Donna |
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To which I say:
"Yeah! What she said!" |
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