Pray for my marriage

jesuslovesyou · Junior Member Joined: 24 Apr 2006 Posts: 36

Please pray for my marriage. I am going on a trip later this week for 12 days and I am telling my husband to take the time to think about what he wants and what he is willing to do, because I can't live this way any more. He suffers from chronic pain and takes lots of medications. They do not take away all the pain, so now he has added alcohol. We have been married over 20 years and we have 2 teenagers. We have not been intimate for almost 5 years(his choice, not mine). He says it is not because of the medication but because he has no desire for me and that is just the way some marriages are. He has time for others - especially sporting events, but not for me or our marriage. He had an emotional affair in the past (though he won't admit that is what it was - they were just good friends) and I have trust issues with him. They no longer work together and she is now married, but the doubt still surfaces. The chronic pain makes it hard also because I don't know how much of his behavior is related to that and how much is just his selfish, uncaring personality. Of course, then I feel guilty for wanting and expecting more from him, when he is obviously in physical pain. Also pray he will go to counseling. He has said no in the passed, though even to help him with the physical problems he must live with, would be a start. Yes, we are both Christians. No I don't want a divorce (but really only because I know God hates divorce). Please pray he spends the time in God's word, in prayer, with a pastor, with a counselor...with a christian male friend...pray he talks about it and wants to work at our marriage when I get back

SAM · Veteran Joined: 03 Mar 2001 Posts: 2164 Location: Chicago

I have lifted you and your marriage up in prayer this morning.

littlerock · Newbie Joined: 01 Apr 2007 Posts: 8

Hello! I will lift your situation up to God in prayer. God bless you.

Karelina9 · Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 6:58 pm Post subject: Hello

I will pray for you too.
I want to tell that I too have a chronic pain disease that I live with. I jsut recently went back on all my meds. I really didn't want to, but the pain has gotten so bad I had to. I hate the meds because when I'm on them I have no desire for my husband either and I know its the meds because I bounce off of them when I can for periods of time. And the desire does come back, but it takes a while. I'm sorry you and your husband are having such a hard time. I hope that you will be able to trust him again, and that he will desire you once more.
((hugs))

SAM · Veteran Joined: 03 Mar 2001 Posts: 2164 Location: Chicago

Karelina 9 -

I have fibromyalgia and found the same to be true with the meds I used to be on.

I gradually changed my diet to a vegetarian diet about 8 years ago and it made all the difference in the world and I no longer take any meds. Very Happy

Karelina9 · Posted: Sun May 13, 2007 10:21 pm Post subject:

SAM, That is what I have! Fibro~

I hate these meds, but I do feel better Sad

I have been "trying" to change my diet to organic foods only. but the cost to do it completely makes it near impossible to totally change over. I do buy the hormone/antibiotic free meats and organic whole grain pastas, and as much organic veggies as I can. But the pain I've had has just gotten completely out of control. I hadn't slept in weeks. The doctor said this bad flair up was probably caused by stress. "no kidding?" But for now this stress is just part of my life, so I need to find a way to ease the stress on my body. I've considered going vegan, but I just don't think I could handle not eating meats! My brother is vegetarian, however he does eat seafood.
Perhaps I'll pray about it again. I just think my family would revolt! lol

jesuslovesyou · Junior Member Joined: 24 Apr 2006 Posts: 36

Well, I am back from my trip and had a great time with my teenage daughter...However, my husband is the same. He did actually pick us up from the airport, but there was no light in his eyes like I hoped for ( you know the look that says I missed you and I am glad you are home) I had to go up and kiss and hug him (no arms around me). I tried to snuggle up to him last night and got a "whats up" - I told him that I missed him and wanted to be close to him & he said "oh, Cool" and proceeded to watch tv without touching me at all... He has another MRI of his back. It was suggested that he has fibromyalgia too, but the specialist said no...he doesn't jump from pain when he pushes on the certain pressure points...He has been almost vegetarian for 25 years (eats white meat chicken or turkey only). He had mono at age 19 and that damaged his immune system and several organs so he can't eat red meat etc. or he gets a high fever, cramps etc. More evidence that I have read indicate that the lack of red meat creates some of his pain and weakness problems so be careful... I do agree with the less hormone injected foods however... I will pray for you too. Please pray again for us tonight, as I am going to talk to him and see if there is any hope.

Karelina9 · Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 5:04 pm Post subject:

I will be praying for you. I certainly hope that Gods favor be upon you tonight. Let us know what happens.
I want to say this one thing~ There is always hope as long as you have Jesus in your heart. Always hope.
((hugs))

jesuslovesyou · Junior Member Joined: 24 Apr 2006 Posts: 36

Well we finally talked this afternoon. He says he turned off his physical feelings for me a long time ago because he felt like I didn't want sex... and doesn't think he will ever feel that way for me again and I will have to live with that. I guess my communication skills are even worse than I thought. He says that I am not the intellegent witty woman that he thought he married and that this is just the way some marriages are. He doesn't want to separate because that would not be good for the kids (His parents divorced when he was in Jr. High) I told him that I wanted him physically and I think that is important for a marriage, but more importantly I want us to be best friends and communicate and I hate the way we have become and that marriage takes work and we both have to be willing to work at it and not accept that this is just the way our "marriage" is... He doesn't want to go to counseling - where someone will tell him what to do and what he is doing wrong... Well, at least we communicated this much. Please keep praying for us because I can't stop crying and I want him so badly.

Karelina9 · Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 12:04 pm Post subject:

{{((hugs))}}
I'm praying for you~

MARBVAN · Newbie Joined: 30 Apr 2007 Posts: 5

THE BATTLE IS OF THE LORDS. HE WILL SEE U THRU THIS TRYING TIMES AND YOU AND UR HUSBAND WILL COME OUT VICTORIOUS

jesuslovesyou · Junior Member Joined: 24 Apr 2006 Posts: 36

Actually this week my husband and my relationship has been much better. May be he just really needed to hear and see (with my tears) how much I really want and need him and want our marriage to be great. We are sharing more and he even gave me a massage + last night. Thank you for all your prayers. Keep them coming because we still have a long way to go, but at least now I feel some hope

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