Pray for my marriage and family - Husband wants a divorce

littlerock · Newbie Joined: 01 Apr 2007 Posts: 8

Hello! I am new here and I am in need of prayer. My husband just recently told me he was no longer in love with me and wants a divorce. There is someone else. We have had problems over the years. I do not want a divorce. He feels like there is no hope and we can't work it out. He says this other person makes him happy and they have alot of things in common. One of our biggest problems is communication. We do not know how to communicate with each other. We are both christians and up until recently did not believe in divorce. We wanted our children to grow up in a two parent home. I admit that I contributed to the breakdown in our marriage because my own issues from my childhood. I am a poor communicator. I willing because I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him. I have been praying and fasting. I know that God can fix anything and that our trials only make us stronger and they can be turned around and used for God's glory. I just don't know what to do. Can anyone give me advise on how to become a better listener and a better communicator? I just don't know how to talk to him because I am struggling with the words. I know that God can work this out. It is just hard when you are in midst of the trial and want it worked out quickly. But I know this will take some time because it did not get this way overnight. Pray that I will see God's guidance, wisdom and patience. Also, pray that God will help us to be able to talk and communicate with each other. Thank you.

SAM · Veteran Joined: 03 Mar 2001 Posts: 2132 Location: Chicago

I have lifted you and your marriage up in prayer this morning.

Does your husband have a Christian male friend in his life who is willing to hold him accountable for his marriage? I mean someone who will lovingly confront him about his sin? This cannot be kept a secret. Sin cannot be hidden for long - it always becomes exposed.

He's being deceived by Satan that his relationship will make him happy.
Marriage isn't about being happy, it's about being holy - becoming more like Christ every day.

Communication can be learned with the help of a professional counselor or through a seminar. A book can give you hints toward what you need to do, but it can still be a challenge to put what you've read into practice. There is a new one by Gary Chapman called Everybody Wins - The Chapman Guide To Solving Conflicts Without Arguing. It's short, sweet and very much to the point - about a two hour read.

There are two books I specifically recommend for your marital situations -
Every Heart Restored by Stephen Arterburn which addresses how to walk beside your husband through sexual sin and Love Must Be Tough by James Dobson which addresses how to not be a doormat to your spouses harmful behaviors and decisions.

littlerock · Newbie Joined: 01 Apr 2007 Posts: 8

Thank you for responding and lifting my family up in prayer. Thank you for the suggestions on the books I will go and buy them tomorrow. My husband has plenty of Christian men whom he could talk to but he doesn't want to. I have asked to go and talk with our old pastor because he is like a father to him but he made the comment that he woul only try to talk him out of it. I just feel hopeless at times. Just continue to pray for us. We have 3 beautiful kids and have been married for 13 years. I am thinking about going to a counselor for myself because I need someone to help me work through this and things from my past. Once again, thank you for your prayers. Have a blessed day.

SAM · Veteran Joined: 03 Mar 2001 Posts: 2132 Location: Chicago

littlerock · Newbie Joined: 01 Apr 2007 Posts: 8

Hello! I just want to ask that you continue praying for me, my marriage, and my children. I was about to begin my own counseling but my husband has suggested we go to marriage counseling. This is an answered prayer because I have been suggesting this for years. I agreed not to do my own seperate counseling only if he follow through with marriage counseling. Pray that he doesn't change his mind and that we both work hard at getting the help we need. Pray that I continue to lean on God's strength and that I seek his wisdom and guidance during this difficult time.

SAM · Veteran Joined: 03 Mar 2001 Posts: 2132 Location: Chicago

I have lifted your marriage up in prayer this morning and will continue to do so.

Lord, may you bring peace and restoration to this marriage. You are the mender and changer of hearts - I ask that you open the doors to changed hearts in this marriage.

Karelina9

I have prayed and will pray for God to touch both your hearts and allow for healing to come. God Bless~ K

littlerock · Newbie Joined: 01 Apr 2007 Posts: 8

Hello! Thank you for your prayers. My faith is getting stronger each day. I have had a minor setback. My husband backed out of marriage counseling. I don't think he is ready to face up to what is going on but I am going to counseling without him. We are talking and pray that we will continue to keep that line of communication going no matter how hard it may be for us. This morning I decided that I was done crying. God's word says that there is a time for weeping and a time for laughing. I am just tired of crying, so I am determined to find joy in my situation no matter how it looks. Please, pray that everyday I remember to look for the joy God brings to me each day because I am trying to learn to keep my focus on God and not my situation. I hope this make sense.

Karelina9 · Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 7:35 am Post subject: praying for you

I have prayed for you this morning. My hope is for you find that Joy, because nothing can shake you once you have it.
Could you please say a prayer for me? I am trying to find that joy as well. Right now I'm feeling empty and void.
Thank you....

littlerock · Newbie Joined: 01 Apr 2007 Posts: 8

Thanks to all of you for praying for my family. Things are slowing getting better, so I'm thankful. Karelina9, I know excactly how you feel. There has been times when I felt so empty. I didn't think I could feel that way. I didn't know what what was worse. My husband telling me he wasn't in love with me anymore or the emptiness that i felt in side. I don't know if it was because I had cried so much that I tired myself out or if it was the pain that caused me to feel empty. I begin reading scriptures, especially the Psalms. I read Psams 103 and 136 and that begin to turn things around for me. It tells me of God's love for us. I just begin to believe on, trust on, and rely on his word. He begin to feel me with joy and peace because I begin trusting on his love and not my husband's or anyone else. One morning tears rolling down my face as I watch my husband back out of the driveway while talking on the phone to the woman he says he is in love with, I decided that I would not cry anymore. I was done with feeling empty, hurt, alone, afraid, etc. I said "Lord, I am done crying, I want to laugh and I did. I asked for joy and peace and he gave it to me. I have had my moments but I just keep reminding myself that the crying is done. It is time to praise God know matter what. When something bad happens that day with me and my husband, I go to the word, my Rock. He has given me everything I have needed through this difficult time. Ask God to give you joy and peace. I did and he answered me. The thing that has helped me the most beside the prayers, is the praise. I learn to thank God and praise him through my circumstance, nothing can shake me. I may stumble but do not fall because God's word says that "the joy of the Lord is my strength". Begin to speak God's word into your life, it has made me stronger and all the difference. God bless you and I will be praying for you.

Karelina9 · Posted: Mon May 07, 2007 9:10 pm Post subject:

I'm glad to hear you're feeling better. I have my ups and downs. I'm doing pretty good right now. Its funny you say your searching the psalms, that is where i go for inspiration and peace. I have also found some scripture in 2 corinthians 12. Where it talks about His strength in weakness.............and boy, am I weak!! lol.
Joy in weakness...........that my focus right now.
I hope your finding joy in Christ today!!!
((hugs))

littlerock · Newbie Joined: 01 Apr 2007 Posts: 8

Hi, Karelina9! I am glad you are doing pretty good right now. I am doing pretty good myself, even though I am a little down. I just keep reminding myself that God is my joy and strength. I have to do that everyday. What has also helped me is reminding myself to put on the "armor of God" daily(Ephesians6:10-1 Cool

. This is a spiritual battle we are facing and I realized that I need the weapons of God to fight satan. I don't know what your beliefs are on spiritual strongholds but I truly believe that is what me and my husband are facing right now. It is tiring and so many times I am tempted to fight with my own strength but it will not do any good. I can't fight satan and win. But God's word tells us to put his armor so that when the day of trouble comes we will be able to stand.(Eph. 6:13) I have notice that every day that I wake and say out loud in prayer and ask God to help me to put on each piece of armor I am able to stand and be aware of the devil's schemes. The bible tells us that we are not unaware of his schemes(2 Corinthians 2:11). This helps alot. I mean alot. It helps to prepare myself for when I speak to my husband throughout the day and when he comes home. It helps me to sense the mood he is in and I am able to go and pray and ask God to prepare my heart and my home for when he walks through the door. It keeps me from falling into satan's trap because that is what he wants. I easily fall into his traps when I am unarmed and unable to fight back. Also, another thing I face is in my weakness I struggle to know what to pray for and how to pray for me and my husband. I asked God to help me with this and he took me to Romans 8:26-27. Remember to put on your armor everyday and ask the Holy Spirit to intercede for you and it will show you exactly what to pray for in your situations. I will keep praying for you. Don't give up and keep praying and thanking God for your husband's deliverance and know that the joy of the Lord is your strength. Happy Mothe's Day. I will check bak with you later because I am going to go and listen to some worship music , dance and give praise to my Father. Love and you and God Bless.

Karelina9 · Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 7:05 pm Post subject:

Littlerock, its good to hear you sounding so strong! I do believe in spiritual strongholds and I know that we fight against spirits, not just against flesh. I was recently put back on my meds for Fibromyalga. Its awful , but it makes me feel better. I hate taking all these pills. Anyway, I am clinging to the Lord. I love those verses in Gal:6. I too put on that Armor! I sometimes forget it and when I do, things really go wrong.
I have to get going, I've been cleaning all day and I am so sore!!
I hope you have a happy mothers day too!! ( you are a mother, right? Embarassed

)
Enjoy your music!!! I really enjoy mine too. I got an ipod as a gift and I just love it!!
anyway, have a good evening!!

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